kiya

The attempt to cycle the old computer's data onto the new computer seems to have worked fine except for my entire email archive is ... well. Today's project.

Sigh.

One rejection Saturday, four yesterday, including a rejection-after-hold.

I am very tired.

( Dreamlog is cut )

In other news I have the world's worst headache, getting a TMJ treatment from artan has brought my pain levels down to "absolutely execrable, everything is terrible", I napped earlier so even though I am a wreck I may not be able to sleep early. Observe: I sulk.

I have been banging my head uselessly against this story I want to finish by Thursday because I have like three CFS deadlines on Thursday and I'd like to write at least one thing?

I have been Very Stuck.

So tonight I decided what the hell I would write some Deliria character interstitial internal processing and maybe that would get the part of my brain that's hooked on that happy that I'd done it, in case that would unstick me.

I wrote two thousand words?

Not words I can do anything with, but hey, I wrote a thing, I can still write things. :P That's nice to know.

Long story short (ish):
( I am absolutely cutting this, the short version of the long story is immense. )

Anyway as you might imagine I am hiding in my room now.

Every so often Medium's "here's a bunch of random articles we think you like" does this. This one will use a free read unless you copy the link and go on private with it, but. Autism and "issues with tone".

https://medium.com/the-unexpected-autistic-life/autism-hypervigilance-trauma-and-watering-yourself-down-6f031b0a7ba6

Meanwhile day 3 of this headache but I'm packaging up a novella to send to a novella call so life carries on. They say the pollen levels are "low-medium" but since it's the rage weed that's not great. Also I need to call the pharmacy and figure out if the med refill they texted me about is my actual meds or the substitute that's terrible...

Fuck hidradenitis suppurativa.

(Warning: DO NOT GOOGLE unless you are prepared for the risk of encounters with skin-disorder photography.)


(In more amusing subjects I did in fact manage to hit 20 submissions out for about six hours, managing my week goal and also nearly running out of plausible markets to send some stuff to so I will not try to maintain that.)

It's not that things don't happen (everything happens so much) it's that I am too worn out by things happening to comment upon the happenage. Mature wisdom also apparently resembles not posting to DW.

The last of my 2020 submissions extant has come home with its rejection note, so now we are on to the grand new world composed entirely of 2021 rejections. (This is the joke; the actuality is that 2021 has also brought me now two holds, one of which I vaguely know when I'll hear back on because it's for a CFS that's still open, for which they are making no final decisions until they have seen their entire pile.)

I am probably not having a depressive episode anymore but I am existentially exhausted nonetheless, which is not assisted by having a vague and near-perpetual case of mild to moderate nausea. (Also I am nearly out of Pepto tablets.)

I am making mild progress on another story in Rory's universe, which does not involve Rory at all (but I do know where the narrator is adjacent to bits of Rory's plotline, because that is the sort of thing I like to know). It writes well except when it just bloody well doesn't, and such is life.

The younger children are in a deeply recalcitrant phase and ER in particular seems to think that all consequences are a grand lark up until she realizes that no, she does not like what is happening and what happened to her fun game? I am looking forward to her maturing out of this.

In other excitements, my toilet, which had been erratic, and then repaired some time ago, went back to erratic and then to 'would not stop running'. It was determined that the problem was not the flappy thing (as had been the previous issue) but something in the refill loop which, when artan attempted to fiddle with it, merely got more vigorous about wanting to blow water forever. It has been shut off at the valve and I need to figure out how to buy a toilet which is simultaneously 'this should be trivial it's a fucking toilet' and 'OMG how is this so complicated?!'

I may have gotten distracted by Turkish lamps instead.

Also having the least-used toilet in the house broken is hilariously complicated so I guess I'm glad it wasn't one of the other ones, but also it does not play nicely with 'vague sense of nausea all the time'.

On the absolute up side I got to play Danny tonight and it was a session about 80% driven by Danny wanting things and going and doing them and he is a very happy feral bard who now possesses a magical fiddle, a book about fairy contract law, and a plan to trade favors for a book on truth in bardic magic. He is well pleased with his world and we have had a fine time.

ETA: oh also the US Army has failed in its most recent attempt to kill my brother; his covid test came back negative. I need to figure out who to scream at.

ER vomited suddenly a few days ago, or maybe yesterday, I genuinely have no conception of the passage of time here, startling nobody more than herself, I think, but that has meant keeping her at home while flailing about trying to get her plague-tested so she can go back to school even though we have no real plausible vector other than school and she's otherwise fine. (I am reasonably comfortable with her school's precautions at the moment though who knows what the future will bring; I am not comfortable with the older kids' schools' precautions, so.) Fortunately she and AR are playing nicely together, mostly.

I, of course, keep showing signs of having another cold, because life is just like that. artan's meds are keeping the sore throat punted down, mostly, but I just took my last NyQuil.

I am... keeping chapter-a-day pace on Nano so far, amazingly enough. I really want to finish ITS so I can edit it and CP together, at this point, and I'm pretty sure a Nano push can finish it. Need to work on my Cinderella inversion some more, that has a deadline that is real.

I have been rewarding myself occasionally for finishing things by playing Hades, and on run 16 I managed to get past Meg (and nearly got the Hydra as well). Sheer luck in boons, honestly.

- there is a front step
- ER is very upset that we will not let her paint owls on the front step
- there is cladding on the overhang on the front of the house
- also on one of the bay windows
- presumably they will finish that up tomorrow
- the Great Reshelvening made no progress today because
- I am 70% snot and sinus pain by volume
- but at least I dont' feel like I'm being choked by my own neck anymore
- the herbal medication for that previous point is really, really nasty tasting