Pollworker: Thank you, good sir!
Me: [nods amiably]
Pollworker, doubletake: Or, uh, good lady.
Me, channeling as much South Shore heritage as I can muster: Whatevah!
Pollworker: ... you were wearing a mask is all and .... Would you like a sticker?!
For the catboy bard posts.

Conversation with [personal profile] jenett behind cut, for the amusement of people who are amused by nattering about characters.
And cut for the screen space of those who are not. )
[personal profile] jenett and I talk gaming. Relevant: some number of years ago, we played several games that included Changeling: the Dreaming as a component.


Me: I am entertained by how much more actively benevolent Isobel is than the boys, but of course that's why Briseis wants her in her pocket.
Jenett: Well, yes. And Isobel, still at "I don't think of myself as actively benevolent!"
Me: Isobel actively wants to find people to help! Thomas will help people he notices but will fart around with the guitar and tinker by preference, left to his own devices. Danny will actively help people, but occasionally vindictively.
Jenett: Danny is a Boggan [1] with his own definitions of helping.
Cutting the rest of this )
kiya: (pooka)
( Jun. 23rd, 2022 11:01 pm)
K: [comes wandering in] Hey.
Me: Hallo.
K: [grabs my toe, which is (on the foot) propped up on the table, and wiggles it vigorously]
Me: Yes, I has a toe.
K: [gesturing vigorously in a 'But it was right there' sort of way]
Me: I see you are playing the part of me in this conversation.
kiya: (connections)
( Mar. 15th, 2022 02:06 pm)
Ridiculous tales of my brain making my life awkward, and me finally resolving it.

I read a webcomic called "Casey and Andy", which I believe I learned about through Mary MacTavish commenting on it on alt.polyamory - Mary being one of the characters in said webcomic. There were four key humans based on a friendgroup in the comic - Casey, Andy (Andy Weir, better known now for The Martian), Mary, and Jenn Brozek, whose alter ego was an international jewel thief.

Anyway. C&A stopped running a number of years ago, Andy went on to become reasonably famous, and I puttered along writing quietly and joining writing discussion groups after the degeneration of rec.arts.sf.composition.

One of which contained ... Jenn Brozek.

For the ... two years or so I have been aware of this, my brain has been trying to come up with an excuse to make a Casey and Andy joke, and I have not been letting it because of bizarre parasocial awkwardness. There was no smooth opportunity that didn't just feel wack to me, so I sat on it.

TODAY I MADE THE JOKE. And she laughed.

So now I can stop having this ludicrous unfinished joke process running in my brain making me feel weird and selfconscious.

(Context: she was talking about a new Shadowrun novel she has coming out, I said something to the effect of "As an old Casey and Andy reader, I'm just thinking Shadowrun's an application of international jewel thievery", and all was fine.)

Do join me in laughing at my own self-inflicted social anxiety and its pleasant resolution!
kiya: (magic geeking)
( Feb. 23rd, 2022 08:19 pm)
Starting to draw a cleansing bath while the little kids are still awake is hilarious.

"Mama why do you have a cup?"
"That's for my magic bath, do you want to smell?"
"Yes! What's this?"
"That's my big black candle."
"Are you going to put the candle IN the water?"
"No, I'm going to put it here."
"Are you going to light the candle with these big matches?"
"Yes."
"Can *WE* have a magic bath?"
"I'll look up what magic baths are good for kids."

I did eventually manage to get them to go down to their room and get read to for bedtime.
[personal profile] jenett and I are discussing her current work in progress, and particularly the falconry-related metaphors intrinsic in her character Carillon's manner of interaction, as related to the fact that his House in posh boarding school was "Owl":

Jenett: And yeah. So much falconry. (Ok, and I am just now realising that's part of why Carillon preferred to fly an owl, fuck, brain, you're not subtle, are you?)
Me: ... you didn't notice you'd done that before?'
Jenett: No? I was going for 'very large raptor'
Me: I laugh and laugh.
Me: I just. Carillon at all those falconry events with the nobs carrying a Giant Honking Owl just to thumb his nose at them forgetting he's not a Fox.
Me: Like, I thought that was the joke!
Jenett: I mean, it's not wrong! Just.
Me: I am laughing so fucking hard.
Me: I feel this is the unsung story of our editorial relationship.
Jenett: This is why I try to trust my brain to do the right thing, even if I don't have a clue why it's right? And yes, yes it is.

(My current state of writing weird is originally posted to the tweeters but is, as I said there, "Tonight in “every story’s different”, apparently making progress on this short requires that I loop loud One Direction through my headphones like I’m a tumblr rps-writing teenager in 2014.")
[personal profile] jenett's character: "Rose said - um. Danny had some troubles?"
NPC fairy, clearly dubious that this qualifies as a genuine problem: "Well, I guess so. He's a cat."
So there is a custom among certain of my people that the test for someone being Excessively Punchdrunk is to say "A stick!*" at them and see if it makes them fall over, under the principle that the relevant joke is really only funny at about 3am.

KJ is bouncing around being kind of hyperkinetic and chatterboxy so I addressed her with "A STICK!" and she cracked up, but of course then I had to explain why I had addressed her with "A STICK!"

Long story short, we have now determined that dogs are assistive devices for disabled boomerangs.






* "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?"
"A stick!"
Me: I got a story rejected.
KJ: Finally?
Me: ... no, not actually the 'finally' one.
KJ, laughing: Oh!
[personal profile] artan: How're you?
Me: I'm working on a villanelle.
[personal profile] artan: I know you had a bad day but that seems excessive.
kiya: (carry the hose)
( Aug. 24th, 2020 12:03 am)
A conversation - well, more of a ramble - I just had:

[personal profile] jenett snerks. Someone wrote a book about the history of tonic water.
I say "Chinchona! Chinchona!"
I say "... that was more weirdly obscure than usual, thank you, brain."
Jenett hahs, at oblique bit of research necessary for describing someone's drinks cabinet.
I say "Dear brain, references to comics that were probably published twenty years before you were born are probably unnecessary."
I say "Also unfindable on image search for easy reference explanation, I would have to go find it in the attic. :P"
Jenett grins.
I say "I mean I suspect you can deduce 60% of the joke."
Jenett says "I think so, yes."
I say "The part that isn't obvious from it is that the reason the character shouted 'Chinchona! Chinchona!' was he was being tutored in being a movie star dog and thus he needed to try out a foreign bark."
Jenett says "Ah!"
I say "Leading to dialogue that went osmething like, '... Chinchona? Is that a foreign bark?' 'It sho nuff is, they makes quinine out of it.'"
Jenett nods.
I say "The fact that the character learning to be a movie star dog was an alligator is peripheral to this conversation."
Jenett giggles.
[personal profile] fiver says "Ah, early comics."
I say "He was being tutored by a dog, who, when it was suggested that he might do better at being a dog than the alligator, was scandalized because that wouldn't be _acting_."
I say "Wait wait I've found something just before that in the sequence."
I say "https://tinyurl.com/y62trsvl"
Jenett says "I was thinking it was Pogo."
I say "Well, the alligator, the accent, the sense of humor, and the me all point that way."
Jenett says "They do, rather."
I say "Okay I tracked the riff down to July 1955 which may help me find it in a book if I want to but I am not going to rabbithole ANY MORE RIGHT NOW."
Just snipping out what I said of it but it's a thing.

Kiya's brain says, "Yeah, some people are just acorns." I snort at my brain.
Kiya says "(Acorns are edible but it takes a whole lot of work to cause that to be the case.)"
Kiya says "And some people are nightshade vegetables, you need to pay attention to which parts you interact with or you will get a hella bellyache."
Kiya does not have sufficient brain to keep going with the analogy but there are many many sorts of vegetables in the world to compare humans to.
[personal profile] artan: The other thing I thought could go on [that shrine] was a cup of pens.
Me: No. Wrong modality for that shrine in specific.
Artan: What's that shrine for again?
Me: Home protection.
Artan: [expression of vicious whimsy about to bubble over into a comment he can't quite formulate yet]
Me: ONE PEN. MIGHTY.
Artan: We just have to find the right pen.


(This was after, mind, he accidentally melted a pewter cup which was, after this incident, deemed Now Correct For Use.)
So here's one.

I make a consistent breakfast: oatmeal and three sausages.

I made breakfast. I went to the bathroom.

While I was in the bathroom I discovered AR eating one of my sausages.

Me: Did you steal my sausage?

AR, between bites of sausage: No.

When I get out of the bathroom I find her reaching up to my bowl to steal another sausage. After some negotiation I cook two sausages, one for her, one to replace the stolen one, and try to go back to breakfast, at which point she demands that I peel an orang instead.

[personal profile] artan returned from the grocery store, providing a diversion after which she refused to consume both sausage and orange. I tried to convince her to eat her damn sausage.

AR: I don want it. You can have it, mama.

Me: I don't want your sausage! I made my own sausage!

[personal profile] artan: Stolen food is better.

He stole the sausage and took a bite.

AR: HEY!!

He gave her the sausage, at which point she rapidly started eating it.

[personal profile] artan: See? Stolen food is better.

Me: [losing my mind laughing]
So it wouldn't get transferred whenif I get around to doing another round of FB kidstory transcription transfers. So I figured I'd transfer it from the tweeters all on its own:

Youngest, asked to count to 10, singing:

“One two three four, can I have a little more, five six seven eight nine blue, I love you! Bom ba bom, sail the ship, bom ba bom, skip the rope, bom ba bom LOOK AT ME! Aw together now.”
I cannot help but feel that running a gaming scenario in which one of the players thought the most sensible thing he could do at one point was talk to some moss demonstrates that I have achieved some fundamental victory state.

Me: "Fyodor [party NPC for this adventure] is looking at you like you're someone who just spent five minutes talking to moss."
Other player: "GABRIEL IS JOINING HIM IN THIS ACTIVITY."
"It feels a little like a Cherryh novel structure only I hope I'm doing slightly clearer setup for what's going on so the actual resolution doesn't hit like an entire keg of wtf."
kiya: (pooka)
( May. 20th, 2017 07:11 pm)
I wish to make note of the existence of this amusing conversation I had with [personal profile] pameladean.
I say "'The next time somebody complains about millenials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over those beautiful hardwood floors.'"
[Other person] grumblemutter.
[[livejournal.com profile] lilairen] ... gets spam for vinyl flooring.
[[livejournal.com profile] lilairen] ... dies laughing.
.

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