I was reminded I don't share kid stories here

[kiya]

So here's one.

I make a consistent breakfast: oatmeal and three sausages.

I made breakfast. I went to the bathroom.

While I was in the bathroom I discovered AR eating one of my sausages.

Me: Did you steal my sausage?

AR, between bites of sausage: No.

When I get out of the bathroom I find her reaching up to my bowl to steal another sausage. After some negotiation I cook two sausages, one for her, one to replace the stolen one, and try to go back to breakfast, at which point she demands that I peel an orang instead.

artan returned from the grocery store, providing a diversion after which she refused to consume both sausage and orange. I tried to convince her to eat her damn sausage.

AR: I don want it. You can have it, mama.

Me: I don't want your sausage! I made my own sausage!

artan: Stolen food is better.

He stole the sausage and took a bite.

AR: HEY!!

He gave her the sausage, at which point she rapidly started eating it.

artan: See? Stolen food is better.

Me: [losing my mind laughing]