Argh.

Gnargh.

I really could do with a long meditation sequence and a full-bore Daily Rite right now. Just to address the godawfulness of my day and get rid of this stress headache. And maybe get a little comfort, if They're so inclined.

I can't meet the ritual requirements. And I'm not going to sabotage the effectiveness of the Rite by ignoring that and trying to do a full-depth ritual and trance state. Bugger biology.

And my damned head hurts too much for me to be able to come up with a secular ritual that might have at least the same centering effects. Can't string two thoughts together in a row without my forehead falling off.

Half of this headache has got to be stress from controlling front more than I do normally, too, but I can't let that go, because I don't know how. I might think about this later when I can, uh, actually think, because Silver's down deep enough that I can't actually find her at the moment, and I'm realising that this is a normal stress response for the system, and I don't know if that's functional or not.

Blug.

Muh. Also thud.

Finished section 95, 404 words. (1133 total.)
Wrote section 96, 604 words.

And that's the six, so I sent it to brooksmoses.

Burned a fair amount of kyphi, which at least has some of the emotional resonances of doing a proper Rite. My head stopped hurting quite so much eventually, not sure where or why.

I don't have the oomph in me to do the working out what the next bit is and writing it; so completely wrecked-tired. I have no emotional equilibrium whatsoever. I've got a lot of tired and hurt and can't-do-anything-right and no-brain and a bunch of other things all tangled up together, instead, and the part of my processing that's closest I've got to sane wants to stay up until dawn working on a statue of Setekh.

And I'm feeling darkly amused by the feeling that hell, it's been a while since I had a meltdown and whine in my journal, so I suppose we were about due anyway.


... that's the Yinepu statue I need to make. Okay. Iiiinteresting. And at least more constructable than what Wepwawet wants.

Anpw statue

Still not my best photography, but better than many. The piece isn't painted yet, but I thought I'd show it off anyway.



This one has a title; it's called Anpw and the Orphan. I actually think the feel of it represents how He presents Himself to me, even. (The blodge on His right knee is His ankh, which He put down.) For all the figure's untraditionality, I did pay attention to standard iconography; the child is shaved except for his sidelock.