On the subject of husbands' last names.

[kiya]

This from the most recent spam phone call I've gotten (I'm answering the phone today because Kevin placed an order and they might be calling here).

Hello?
Can I speak to Kevin Marsh?
I'm afraid he's at work.

This is the normal thing. Normally in follow-up to this, they ask me, "Are you Mrs. Marsh?" and I say "No." This time they asked the question that I answer "Yes" to:

Is this his wife?
Yes.

Then it gets interesting.

Mrs. Marsh, I. . .
My name is not Mrs. Marsh.
Huh?

Graceful recovery, that.

I did not take my husband's name.
*with amazing huffiness* Oh-kay. Sorrreeeeee.

Then she hung up on me.

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

Well, at least you got rid of her!

[kiya]

Vanished in a cloud of affronted bafflement!

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Think of it this way: she obviously doesn't like her job, and she's obviously no good at it. She's already inflicting herself with worse punishment than you can even imagine. ;) That's the thought that gives me a warm, comforting glow when I've been abused/annoyed by phone spam... my job isn't to make their job easier; my job is to make them give serious thought to doing something decent for a living.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Three snaps up! You got rid of a telemarketer!

A.
who has always been proud of her mom for having a hyphenated last name; where she was from, and thirty years ago, that was very feminist of her.

[tendyl.livejournal.com]

You go! One telemarketer down - and hopefully educated not to make assumptions.

A better response

[cheshyre]

Whenever anybody calls my husband Mr. Riba or asks him for Mrs. Osmond, he replies, "I didn't take my wife's name when we got married."

Sometimes it really throws callers for a loop.

Why play into the assumption that if someone in the couple took on the other's name, it had to be the wife who changed...

Re: A better response

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Actually, it usually doesn't throw callers for a loop. Usually they laugh in that "hmm I just got something new to think about in my worldview" way.

I don't know if that works better for me because I'm male, at home all day, and Lis's name is on all the phonespam lists. It may be that "actually, not 'Mrs Marsh'; my husband didn't take my last name when we got married" is just plain less effective than, "actually, not 'Mr Riba'; I didn't take my wife's name when we got married."

I dunno. I like to think that, the way I say it, it makes people wonder why they assume that couples do have the last name, and, if so, why it should be the husbands'.

"May I speak to Elisabeth Riba?"
"I'm sorry, she's not available."
"Is there a Mr. Riba?"
"There's nobody at this address by that name."

I never deny being her husband -- unless I feel like it. I mean, I don't feel like I'm required to actually be honest with total strangers who phone me up to sell me stuff.

Re: A better response

[kiya]

I was actually thinking of you guys when I said it. I think yours is more effective because it turns the thing on its head; it underscores that it's a stupid assumption because it's not the Expected Thing that a man would take his wife's name.

Someone who points out that he didn't take his wife's name is doing something incongruous that shows up the silliness of the presumption of name-changing. Someone who points out that she didn't take her husband's name is a ball-breaking feminazi bitch who should know better than to be annoyed by being referred to by a name not her own because she should know that's the normal thing to do, the freak.

At least I presume that's why she got huffy about being gently corrected.

[tiassa]

I wish I had so easy a way to get rid of them. I'll have to start making stuff up so they'll leave me alone.

[kiya]

I would like to note that I was showing Kevin this entry in my journal and he fell over, exclaiming, "Also! Cute! And Fluffy!"

*chuckle*

[suzanne.livejournal.com]

It still isn't as funny as the time
/I/ was asked if I were Mr. Marsh's wife.

*grins, remembering*

[roimata.livejournal.com]

I'd have a problem if I changed my surname to that of my husband if I got married. Firstly, my surname is a patronymic - it's my father's first name, with the equivalent of 'daughter of' added to the end. I would feel really weird about changing that, because I can't not be my father's daughter anymore just because I get married. I mean, if he so disapproved of my choice that he disowned me, I'd still be his daughter. Secondly, there's the issue of heredity. The system where I'm from is laid out so that it'll be easy to find out someone's genealogy by knowing their name and the name of their father - I can trace my ancestors back to the father of the man who joined Norway into a single kingdom, way back when swords(or axes) and shields were considered accessories a man simply could not leave home without.

So, um, yeah. If I do get married, I'm keeping my surname.

[meranthi.livejournal.com]

We used to get this before Tim and I got married.

"Is Mr. Emrick there?"
"No."
"Are you Mrs. Emrick?"
"He's not married."
Silence...

Highly entertaining. Now, if I don't want to talk with people, I just tell them I'm not there. Works fairly well, but sometimes I do that to my credit card company which is annoying.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

My spouse and I have kept our own surnames primarily because we both have publications under those names. My spouse's surname of record is actually zir first spouse's, and I did give serious thought to taking it solely for the expression it would have induced on my father's face.

My title of record with financial institutions is "Dr.", on the grounds that when I asked for this to be changed on my credit cards after acquiring my PhD, my credit limit was unexpectedly raised by almost a third. This provides a reasonable excuse for not answering to any other title to phone marketers.

[kate_nepveu]

"My title of record with financial institutions is "Dr.", on the grounds that when I asked for this to be changed on my credit cards after acquiring my PhD, my credit limit was unexpectedly raised by almost a third."

*blink* I will have to tell Chad this. Actually, his credit limits don't really need to be raised. But still.