Temper tantrum du jour.

[kiya]

Random life update: I have successfully bathed the snake. He is, in fact, about the length of my arm now. This bit of mundane trivia out of the way . . .

I am not entirely certain why this enrages me so, but it does.

Yes, it's flagged with a 'personally'. Maybe that means I shouldn't be so fucking irritated by it.

But then again, the sheer smugness, the sheer smarmy sanctimoniousness of it, as if being bisexual is somehow an effect of personal worth and value, of "creativity" if this person would prefer, and someone who does not have this quality is somehow lacking that "creativity".

Maybe I'm hypersensitive. Maybe I'm as fed up with the poly = bisexuality = poly thing as the monogamous bisexuals I know. But goddamnit! Rant, vent, stomp stomp fucking stomp.

I'm not straight because I'm not trying hard enough. I'm straight because women don't get me wet. This isn't a "creativity" problem. This isn't even a problem except in the eyes of the sort of smug ass who thinks that "creativity" is the answer to orientation. erispope and I are perfectly happy with the sort of relationship that we have, and me being straight and her being arguably bi (but not attracted to women; men and intersexed folk are her two sexes of choice) is not a goddamned issue.

And while I'm being catty and throwing a temper tantrum, I just wanna say that I really do find it redundant to have this person smugly declare bisexuality at me, as if it wasn't obvious from the gods-be-feathered USERNAME. What is this, fucking overcompensation for insecurity theater? "Look at me! I'm bi! I'm bi! I'm more-creative-than-thou! Look at me being smug about my sexuality!" (I'm, in calmer moments, about as benignly baffled by people who put their sexual orientation in their usernames as this person I know whose email address is GoBoSox; don't they expect to ever talk about anything else?)

Okay. . . where's my handle? I seem to have misplaced it when I went flying off. . . .

Comments

[oneironaut.livejournal.com]

Sing it, brother.

I'm, in calmer moments, about as benignly baffled by people who put their sexual orientation in their usernames as this person I know whose email address is GoBoSox; don't they expect to ever talk about anything else?

Well, I don't ever talk about anything other than how much sleep I'm not getting....

[kiya]

Theeeeeese dreeeeeeeams go on when I close my eyes. . . .

[elynne.livejournal.com]

*ROFL!* :D

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

read the userinfo of the person in question.

especially the drama-free zone icon, and the song lyrics directly beneath.

heh.

[kiya]

I think I'm faintly perturbed by the three different spellings of the word 'women' in the interests-list.

Hm. I think the pooka icon can go for being catty, too.

[oneironaut.livejournal.com]

Jumping Judas.

I have a serious problem with people who define themselves so thoroughly and intensely by one of their adjectives, in no small part because these are often the people who complain most vociferously about adjectivism; though she does mention being literate and a tarot reader and so on, the overwhelming impression that I get is, 'Look at me, damn it! I'm SEXUAL!'

The stereotype of bisexuals as assheads who never shut up about what they're doing with their genitals is not my main reason for not identifying as one, but it's certainly on the list, and this isn't helping any.

[kiya]

Is it higher or lower on the list than the joy of the doubletakes you get for being gay and ofindeterminategender? ;)

[oneironaut.livejournal.com]

Um. <abashed> A bit lower. </abashed>

I'm considering posting a deeper analysis of my orientation than 'My father would be so upset' to my livejournal, because it's amusing: looked at in a similar light to your bisomethingality, I really am gay. But that's a project for another day.

[kiya]

It struck me when you said it that you could very well mean that you had a particular nonattitude towards gender, and that you were attracted to similarly nonattitudinal people. Are you trying to tell me you didn't do this on purpose? ;)

Hah!

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

The only way I managed to let that one pass was by trying real hard to presume sie meant "I have had to be creative."

Re: Hah!

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

Or by presuming that sie had hir own "don't make assumptions about what genitalia can be compatible"-button pushed, and was trying to be cute instead of lecturing.

Re: Hah!

[avram]

That's how I read it.

Re: Hah!

[kiya]

I would think that the owners of the genitalia in question would be the people to check with about whether or not theirs are compatible, though.

[firecat]

Personally, I find that bisexuality and creativity have very little to do with one another. So many of my sexual impulses are incredibly cliched. Not the least bit creative.

I do find creativity comes into play when deciding what to do with a particular set of genitalia, but that has nothing to do with whether they are innie or outie genitalia. Thus in that sense bisexuality isn't more creative either.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

So many of my sexual impulses are incredibly cliched. Not the least bit creative.

um. well. yes. me too.

[hangs head]

i do have the satisfaction of flipping through cosmo nearly every month and finding out that the nine new hot sex tricks are things i knew at seventeen, though. so that keeps me going ;)

It's a hijack!

[firecat]

(of lilairen's journal)

Yeah, and I know that if I really need some extra pocket money, I can write for Penthouse Forum.

Re: It's a hijack!

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

well, there's the part where typing either "throbbing member" or "heaving bosoms" and trying to be serious about it makes me giggle too hard to type, but yes.

a slightly different PoV

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

I'm not straight because I'm not trying hard enough. I'm straight because women don't get me wet. This isn't a "creativity" problem.

*nod*. well, that's why i am het, cause MOTSS don't cause a single of my three hormones to go "yay!", not even after long friendship, not when i've actively tried. i am plenty creative, thanks.

however, i read the comment slightly differently from everyone else. because really, it isn't about incompatible genitalia for me. i have no objection to the other kinds, and yeah, it would just take some creativity, if my hormones were interested. at least that's what went through my head when i read your original post. i found that a strange way to explain why you're not partners with MOTSS :). but then i dunno, maybe it is actually about genitalia for you.

anyway, maybe this bi person is one of the bi people who believe it's a matter of willpower, because hey, for her it was that way, maybe she "retrained" herself. have met some of those. sorta envy them, actually.

but don't let me ruin that tantrum! i'm with you on grouching about handles like that (and don't get me started on "goddess" sort of crap) but i really have no fin to stand on there, do i.

-piranha

Re: a slightly different PoV

[kiya]

I'm not sure that my heterosexuality is "about" genitalia any more than my polyamory is "about" some philosophy or other. It just is.

Re: a slightly different PoV

[brooksmoses]

Well, yeah, but you did say essentially "someone who I would be dating if we had compatible genitalia". Not everyone knows you well enough, or is in general perceptive enough, to pick up on the fact that you didn't mean the clause as the actual reason that it would appear to be from the sentence construction. Outside of context, an interpretation of "I'd really like to be dating this person, but, goshdarnit, we can't physically make our bits mesh" does fit your statement fairly well, and the response you object to is a fairly reasonable reply to such an interpretation, I think.

- Brooks, sorta agreeing with the fishie here

Re: a slightly different PoV

[kiya]

Mmmph. It's . . . something that causes me to feel regret at having reconceptualized that relationship as a relationship.

For what little it's worth, we discussed the question of whether or not we had a dating relationship and came to the conclusion that by at least some means of counting, we did. We don't have a sexual relationship, in significant part because we are not sexually compatible.

Re: a slightly different PoV

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

there, yes -- brooks can be my translator here. :) i've read you for long enough to just sort of go "eh?" at such writ, and then move on, assured that there is loads of unwritten meaning behind it that i probably would grok if you were to explain it in more detail. the unfortunate bi-something-femme hasn't had any exposure yet to your planet, i think. and yeah, i think she was trying to be cute instead of lecturing. woops. faceplant. :)

(oneironaut is an excellent handle, IMO, to refer down-and-sideways-thread.)

-piranha

Re: a slightly different PoV

[oneironaut.livejournal.com]

maybe she "retrained" herself. have met some of those. sorta envy them, actually.

Some people do have all the luck, yeah. I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who believe their experiences to be relevant across the board, though.

but i really have no fin to stand on there, do i.

Well, I don't think this world suffers for the existence of people who use obscure Greek borrowings as handles and go by the names of aquatic animals.

But maybe that's just me.

[submarine-bells.livejournal.com]

I'm, in calmer moments, about as benignly baffled by people who put their sexual orientation in their usernames as this person I know whose email address is GoBoSox; don't they expect to ever talk about anything else?

Well, sometimes it can be pretty bloody depressing to have one's sexuality be totally invisible *except* when one talks about it. I've got no idea what the circumstances are for the person you're griping about here; but I know that for many of us who don't live in Hotbeds of Rampant Non-Mainstreamitude, it can be pretty much impossible to have folk recognise one's bisexuality without making a point of constantly harping on about it. And that gets old, you know?

You know perfectly well how soul-destroying it can be to accept the closets and invisibility that others may wish to foist upon one. And if someone lives in an environment (as I do) where one's sexuality is always assumed to be straight unless one happens to be partnered to a MOTSS, which means that one is gay... well, you've just gotta say "um, no, I'm bi actually" if you're not gonna get shoved back into a closet of some shape or other. And then be prepared to say it over and over and bloody over again. And they *still* don't get it. [sigh]

So yeah, I can understand why one might want to put one's sexual orientation in one's username.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I am always extremely amused when I read about you bathing the snake, because I always read it as a euphemism. This is despite your userpic showing clearly you holding an actual snake. I must actually have the dirty mind that people often accuse me of having!

[kiya]

I haven't got the humidity up to a good level for him when he's shedding, which means that he has some difficulty doing so cleanly. When this happens, he gets a touch dehydrated, which is Bad Juju All Round. So last night we had a long soak and I stroked off most of the skin he was having issues with in between scooping water out of his bowl and flicking it at one of the cats. :}

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I was reading "we had a long soak" as snake-in-the-tub-with-person. It sounds like I was wrong, and I am sad at the loss of cuteness. My cats won't come into the bathtub with me, and I don't want to bathe in the fish tank...

[kiya]

I'm afraid I like baths a _lot_ hotter than Kunda does. I'm not that good at this being-a-mammal temperature regulation thing, but at least I nominally have the equipment.

The net effect of snake-bathing is to get me fairly damp overall, though, between the spraying Arthur to keep him from playing bat-the-wiggly-thing, and Kunda occasionally deciding that yes, this soaking thing is well and good, but what he /really/ wants to do is go charging off to Explore The World Outside The Tank.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

As far as sex and creativity go, for me they do a positive feedback thing, at least when my writing is the creativity in question. I think I may have a narrative kink. Does that connect on to anything for anyone here ?