I just posted this to Fet in a thread in which the subject of the sorts of messages women on dating, sex, or relationship sites receive; someone compared them to Nigerian scams, to which someone replied "Sometimes the inappropriate messages ARE Nigerian scams".

Since I've gotten several "My coworkers are asking me why I'm laughing and I can't tell them" responses, and also because the language is questionable in some places, I am putting this here.


REQUEST FOR URGENT SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

First, I must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of my need for a discrete relationship. I am sure and have confidence of your great ability to prosecute a penis of this great magnitude involving a pending transaction requiring maximum confidence.

We are top stud of the scene who are interested in importing fuck into our life with hotness which is presently ignored by dumb bitches. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us to transfer into your cunt the said ignored hotness.

Please note that this transaction is 100% safe and we hope to commence the transfer latest seven (7) clubbing days from the date of the receipt of the following information by tel/fax: your cam handle, your phone number, your address, and a place to fuck.

We are looking forward to doing this business with you and we solicit your confidentiality in this transaction. We do not wish our wife to find out that we are trolling for pussy on the internet. Once we transfer the hotness into your fuckhole we will not contact you again.



(... it was hard to put in "discrete" there rather than spell it properly, but they always do it that way.)
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From: [identity profile] thomasyan.livejournal.com


You need to blow off stress more. Not that I wish more stress on you, I just want to laugh lots more :)
ckd: small blue foam shark (Default)

From: [personal profile] ckd


*splorfle*

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read this.

From: [identity profile] metahacker.livejournal.com


DEAR MADAM

I am the son and only heir of the Prince of Fucistan. Due to circumcisions behind our control I need to transfer THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND (300 000) micrometers of penis out of the country. If you give us the address of the hole you have it will be filled and you will receive the sum of TEN THOUSAND (1,0000) micrometers in US Penis which you can do whatever you wand with it. I await your overtures.

The Right Honorable!
brooksmoses: (Default)

From: [personal profile] brooksmoses


One could argue that discrete is an appropriate adjective there; this relationship must be entirely separate and distinct from all of my other relationships! No talking to my wife and having a friendship with her too!
.

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