Terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

[kiya]

So I was reading this post in dot_cattiness (it's a locked post, so don't bother if you're not on the community).

Yeah, I suppose it's fair to say catty things about someone who's not dealing with their depression well, if that person is attached to their disorders -- gods know I did that back with the crazy ex, who I strongly suspect of being bipolar, who also refused to consider that he might have a problem and had an apparent phobia of psychological or psychiatric treatment.

I can't deal well with seeing it called a "disability", and that's with the scare quotes there. I don't know how to explain to someone who does it the stuff that comes with this shit. I can't see the "disability" snark as being anything other than contempt, possibly for the whole range of people who have disabling psychological disorders. Certainly for those who actually gasp admit that they have a problem that gets in the way of having their lives.

I started to write a reply to the post -- well, not to the post, but to the comment that had the "disability" line in it. Link to the alt.support.depression FAQ, point out that depression is a real disability that affects real people and this sort of insinuation about the moral rectitude of those people who have days when they just can't get out of the fucking cycle is counterproductive. . . .

Couldn't do it. I'm too depressed these days -- I don't have the emotional fortitude to expose myself to that sort of contempt, that sort of ignorance, that cavalier dismissal of what can be a serious problem -- certainly there are plenty of people who are worse off than I. If I had the strength, I would argue, I would point out this ignorance, I would say that this is the sort of attitude that prevents people from getting help, because they have evidence that nobody will think that their problem is real rather than a moral failing.

I can't do it. Not today. Not this month. I don't have the strength to start an argument, and I know that it'll come down to an argument if I try.

Comments

[kiya]

You think it's frustrating from your end, try it from this side. ;) There are days when it feels like a grand accomplishment to run the dishwasher.

Isn't he a gorgeous snakie? That picture's from about a year ago; he's about the length of my arm now, and as big around at his thickest as . . . hm. The circle from thumb to forefinger is about right. He's a royal python (also called a ball python, mostly in the States) and his name is Kundalini. He's my pretty baby. :)

[cjsmith.livejournal.com]

More reading of the FAQ has, unfortunately, left me more confused. It stresses change: activities previously enjoyed, sleeping more than usual. I think he was born with this ability to completely hose his sleep schedule. Also, it does seem like a natural amount of sleep for the circumstances: stayed up from Friday morning around ten all the way through Saturday evening and quite possibly until three or four in the morning Sunday, then got frustrated and mopey when that meant crash-like-a-rock on Sunday. So I just don't know. Of course, not knowing is probably best. Going around firmly diagnosing one's friends doesn't often lead to best friendship behavior anyhow.

Kundalini is gorrrgeous. And he's curled in a particularly artistic way in that photo. :) What does he eat? Bugs mainly, or is he big enough to eat small rodents? I would love to have a snake, and would be happy to buy food-bugs, but mice would probably be beyond my ability.

[autumnesquirrel.livejournal.com]

As far as I know depression can also manifest with extreme insomnia, so who knows. The main thing I've noticed in people I've known who were depressed was a lack of energy in a slightly more general sense. Things they had previously enjoyed they no longer had the energy or interest to put into. Daily activities became challenging. More a lack of emotional energy than necessarily a lack of physical energy.

If he is depressed or not matters only in a general sense anyway. If he is your being his friend will likely help more than your trying to fix things or shock him out of his behavior. If he's not and things you've said haven't helped yet they're not likely to. My Mom has been after me for years to lose weight. I usually eat more after talking to her, and crave fatty foods when I'm around her. Perhaps you should ask him if there is anything you can do to help?

The lovely snake eats frozen small rodents.

[kiya]

I don't know from previously; as far as I know I was born depressive. (I have a very clear memory from the age of eighteen where I felt good, and was struck with the sudden revelation: maybe this is what it's like to be normal. I've found the depression hasn't been so bad since then, if only because I have a memory of being, for a couple of days, free of it.) I have periods when the thing is more severe, more present, more disruptive, so that might be it; I don't know. (I get both insomnia and hypersomnia symptoms, sometimes intricately intertwined, which makes it even more confounding.)

Kunda's species lives on gerbils in the wild; he's captive-bred, and was raised on mice. I order them on the web and keep a box of them in the freezer; when I got him he was only big enough to eat juvenile mice, but these days he's eating full-grown ones. (The rule of thumb is 'don't feed the snake anything wider than it is at its widest point'.) I don't know off the top of my head the names of any insectivorous snakes; I believe all three of the recommended "starter" snakes eat rodents. (Corn snakes, captive-bred ball pythons, king snakes.)

Kevin keeps fish, so we occasionally go to pet stores to ogle the fishies. I was looking at the reptiles and saw an enclosure full of royals, and found them utterly gorgeous. So I wound up getting one, which was cool; I've wanted a snake since I was a kid. (Some people read Stranger in a Strange Land and find their way to polyamory. I read SIASL and decided I wanted a snake.)

[rosefox]

I read SIASL and decided that I wanted to look at Rodin sculpture, know what grass was thinking when I walked on it, and sleep on the floor.