Terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

[kiya]

So I was reading this post in dot_cattiness (it's a locked post, so don't bother if you're not on the community).

Yeah, I suppose it's fair to say catty things about someone who's not dealing with their depression well, if that person is attached to their disorders -- gods know I did that back with the crazy ex, who I strongly suspect of being bipolar, who also refused to consider that he might have a problem and had an apparent phobia of psychological or psychiatric treatment.

I can't deal well with seeing it called a "disability", and that's with the scare quotes there. I don't know how to explain to someone who does it the stuff that comes with this shit. I can't see the "disability" snark as being anything other than contempt, possibly for the whole range of people who have disabling psychological disorders. Certainly for those who actually gasp admit that they have a problem that gets in the way of having their lives.

I started to write a reply to the post -- well, not to the post, but to the comment that had the "disability" line in it. Link to the alt.support.depression FAQ, point out that depression is a real disability that affects real people and this sort of insinuation about the moral rectitude of those people who have days when they just can't get out of the fucking cycle is counterproductive. . . .

Couldn't do it. I'm too depressed these days -- I don't have the emotional fortitude to expose myself to that sort of contempt, that sort of ignorance, that cavalier dismissal of what can be a serious problem -- certainly there are plenty of people who are worse off than I. If I had the strength, I would argue, I would point out this ignorance, I would say that this is the sort of attitude that prevents people from getting help, because they have evidence that nobody will think that their problem is real rather than a moral failing.

I can't do it. Not today. Not this month. I don't have the strength to start an argument, and I know that it'll come down to an argument if I try.

Comments

[elynne.livejournal.com]

One of my housemates rented "Girl, Interrupted" recently, which stars Wynona Rider (or Winona Ryder?) and Angelina Jolie as teenageish girls in a mental institution. I'd remembered it being an annoying movie, for a lot of reasons - not actually offensive, but annoying in a "Lookit me! I'm talking about mental stuff, I'm so deep! Let me read you some of my poetry!" way. It strove so hard to be meaningful and insightful, and instead came off very superficially.

I was in the living room while she watched it, until it got to the scene where Wynona has been on a severe depressive jag for a while (it's implied several days, maybe a week or more), has been sleeping all day, doesn't get out of bed - and Whoopi Goldberg's character picks her up, takes her to the bathroom, and tosses her in a cold bath. And when Wynona bitches, Whoopi tells her "There's nothing wrong with you, except that you're lazy and (selfish?), stop feeling sorry for yourself" and some similar things.

At which point I realized that I FUCKING HATE THAT MOVIE.

There's nothing wrong with me that a toss in cold bathwater and a good verbal work-over wouldn't fix. After all, I'm just lazy and feeling sorry for myself. There's nothing "really" wrong with me.

... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.

FWIW

[boojum.livejournal.com]

It's been a few years since I've read the book the movie was based on, but I remember enjoying it. It was good in that somewhat unnerving way {books which suck you in to the mind of their main character, who's messed up} are. (Braces for structural clarification.)