Catalogue of Annoyances:

Dear Intestines:
Just ... stop.

Dear customer service rep:
When I say "Why am I not getting credit for the last three months of this thing and how do I fix it?" the answer is not, "You will get credit within thirty days of your statement."

Dear ... weirdo:
No, the ancient Egyptians did not mummify because they were awaiting the return of the pharaohs. Please get over whatever bizarre brand of Christianity you claim to be not believing, put down the milleniallist fantasy world, and back away slowly. Second Coming = DO NOT WANT.

Dear silly people:
You can "not believe in" various relationship structures all you want, but that doesn't make them not exist. If you mean you're not interested in participating, just say so, rather than using language that rather suggests that you think that other people's interactions aren't happening.

Dear waterlily:
Please stop spontaneously manifesting small green beetles. Lots of small green beetles. I did not order small green beetles.