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. . . having someone who thought that one was a fucking unhelpful idiot on a livejournal community find one's response very useful on alt.poly and complain about the unhelpful idiot on the livejournal community . . . .
Today's debate is: Do I point it out?
Today's debate is: Do I point it out?
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From:
no subject
I haven't yet replied to him, becuase I happen to know the woman he's involved with. She and I have been net.friends for years, and I suspect her view of the situation might be somewhat different. I also wonder how she's going to feel when she reads his post, but that's a separate matter.
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I saw him mention that she reads the group. . . .
From:
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I'm really, really bad about connecting names up to things, or retaining data. It takes me a while to assemble a baseline of interaction with someone and actually consistently attach individual events to that person. Sometimes this hurts me -- when people presume that I've retained them and get huffy over the fact that I haven't. Sometimes it helps me, because while I may get royally annoyed at someone, and in fact still be irritated with them, I don't actually remember who I'm annoyed with, so it has no relevance to my actions.
Every so often, someone will do something that forcibly connects up disparate things and gives them context. In this case, adding the context rather detracts. . . .
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*sigh*
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Though I note that he's arguing with
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He's hurt, lashing out because of his pain.
Let it be.
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I think I've finally written off
From:
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Let me tell you why.
I'm going to disagree with you: the arguments aren't pointless. They are enormously clarifying. I said this once, and I'll risk annoying you by saying it again: I agree with you, that when you are arguing against someone who is entrenched in his/her position, (or, who is just not very bright), you will not be heard. You are right. Nevertheless, you are being overheard.
Don't underestimate this.
You mentioned once that you are a bit of a poly activist.
You should be.
You are good at this.
You have a real knack for identifying the weak parts of an argument, for teasing apart the issues, for putting things into context, for systemetizing, for using your personal experiences to make a point (and, except for those occasional cranky moments, you generally do it in a non-attacking, not threatening way. In a way that can be heard, by reasonable people). In a lot of these discussions, you are a voice of dissent, a voice from the end of the bell curve, a voice that challenges attempts to make any one poly view/approach/practice a monolith. You're playing a valuable role in all of this.
I hesitate to say all this, because I worry that you think I'm putting you up on a pedestal, or flirting with you. I'm not.
I do admire your writing, and pay attention to it, because it is smart, clear... clarifying. I came into
New people sign on to
If it makes your belly hurt, if you're burnt out, then of course, do what you need to do. But if you can stomach it... I hope you'll stay.
From:
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One of the recent stupid arguments wound up with something that, almost incidentally, hurt me fairly badly; I wound up putting enough personal information on the table for a nasty stab to actually hit something with blood in it.
One of the reasons I get into the arguments and actually put effort into them is that I do get invested in thigns. The risk is that I get too involved, it winds up mattering too much, the abstractions aren't abstract anymore.
I suspect I'll look in occasionally. But it's not something I can do and keep the rest of my life healthy at the moment.
From:
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One of the reasons I get into the arguments and actually put effort into them is that I do get invested in thigns. The risk is that I get too involved, it winds up mattering too much, the abstractions aren't abstract anymore.
I hear you. I've been there. I never was good at keeping the abstractions abstract, anyway.
Heal well.
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We'll see how the scattered bits approach does.
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third world way of reading
"you know, bell hooks has a great essay about how she was so put off by the misogyny in paulo friere's work...and yet he had so much to teach her about teaching. so she came up w/ a "third world" way of reading. in the first world, people expect their water to be clean and pure; if it isn't, they throw it out. in the third world, people make do w/ what they have: they let the dirt sink to the bottom, then drink the water off the top. i've found that idea very helpful (and use it all the time to help students see that they can still get useful things out of texts that offend them in some way...)"
'twas a powerful metaphor for me. You?
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Re: third world way of reading
Will think on.
(Incidentally, for your data-collection purposes, I'm poly and straight depressive.)
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Re: third world way of reading
and plotted.
;-)
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*sigh*
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I understand.
Good luck, DH.
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It's an issue that probably needed to be poked with a sharp stick anyway, right?
:P
Thanks for the good-wishing.
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:-}
From: (Anonymous)
hmmm
if you wanna IM or email its Mysteria90210@aol.com
bye