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My right ear is clogged. I mean really clogged. Though I can kinda-sorta hear out of it now, which is an improvement. It clicks to me gently when I breathe, except when it's ringing. (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
brooksmoses answered it once, and it stopped ringing, I think because of the extreme perplexity.)
Went to the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum on Saturday. This involved a lot of sitting around and wondering which of the miscellaneous other people sitting around were associated with the expotition. We eventually found all of them, though. Puttered around looking at things -- I was most struck by the colour. Most of the superficial history things I had in school did a lot of bare stone for the ancients, no colour, but everything had colour. Very satisfying.
Poked around in the museum shop for a while --jadecat9 snagged a book that might fit what teinedreugan wanted me to look for to protect it for me -- it was the last one. There was a gorgeous statue of Anpw, but they were out; however, I found it in a few other places.
In other "It's all about the Egypt" notes, see also this post on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
homebrewing and thastygliax's new userpic. (And I did spend a while looking for statues online last night. There are apparently two of Set; Not Your Most Popular God. Ah well, we can't all be Bast. I found a really nice one of Het-Herw, too, and it's not available until further notice. Rar.)
Sawsuzimoses off at some ungodly hour this morning, and have been told she got in to Boston all right. With snow, and cats. (And there goes my ear, ringing again.)
Under the level of stress I am at the moment, I probably should stop trying to say anything in public. Meh. The urge to flatten bits of alt.callahans is sufficiently strong that I shouldn't read it at all for a while. And I'm having another round of simultaneously believing that anyone who could be attracted to me physically is unbelievably shallow and desperately wanting to be assured that I'm attractive, which is no fun for anyone.
Only one blowup so far, and that more or less resolved, but . . . meh. I really want to be in a place where trivial shit doesn't have me howling in pain in the shower. (Well, I needed a shower, and I needed to flee, so fleeing to the shower was at least productive.)
I have sour cream, which is always a consolation. And I may make cookies with M&Ms in. I got the M&Ms for this purpose yesterday, but haven't assembled sufficient tuits and the like.
Got email from my little brother Ben who is no relation to me, whose birthday falls soon after my bio-brother's, which I seem to only inconsistently remember. I also mailed a birthday present to my bio-brother which may even get there on time, and the [text elided] foroneironaut, which definitely won't.
And I helpedbrooksmoses process data for his paper, which may get that done sooner, and at least allowed me to justify my existence by being useful.
I wish my gut would stop hurting.
brooksmoses answered it once, and it stopped ringing, I think because of the extreme perplexity.)Went to the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum on Saturday. This involved a lot of sitting around and wondering which of the miscellaneous other people sitting around were associated with the expotition. We eventually found all of them, though. Puttered around looking at things -- I was most struck by the colour. Most of the superficial history things I had in school did a lot of bare stone for the ancients, no colour, but everything had colour. Very satisfying.
Poked around in the museum shop for a while --
jadecat9 snagged a book that might fit what teinedreugan wanted me to look for to protect it for me -- it was the last one. There was a gorgeous statue of Anpw, but they were out; however, I found it in a few other places.In other "It's all about the Egypt" notes, see also this post on
homebrewing and thastygliax's new userpic. (And I did spend a while looking for statues online last night. There are apparently two of Set; Not Your Most Popular God. Ah well, we can't all be Bast. I found a really nice one of Het-Herw, too, and it's not available until further notice. Rar.)Saw
suzimoses off at some ungodly hour this morning, and have been told she got in to Boston all right. With snow, and cats. (And there goes my ear, ringing again.)Under the level of stress I am at the moment, I probably should stop trying to say anything in public. Meh. The urge to flatten bits of alt.callahans is sufficiently strong that I shouldn't read it at all for a while. And I'm having another round of simultaneously believing that anyone who could be attracted to me physically is unbelievably shallow and desperately wanting to be assured that I'm attractive, which is no fun for anyone.
Only one blowup so far, and that more or less resolved, but . . . meh. I really want to be in a place where trivial shit doesn't have me howling in pain in the shower. (Well, I needed a shower, and I needed to flee, so fleeing to the shower was at least productive.)
I have sour cream, which is always a consolation. And I may make cookies with M&Ms in. I got the M&Ms for this purpose yesterday, but haven't assembled sufficient tuits and the like.
Got email from my little brother Ben who is no relation to me, whose birthday falls soon after my bio-brother's, which I seem to only inconsistently remember. I also mailed a birthday present to my bio-brother which may even get there on time, and the [text elided] for
oneironaut, which definitely won't.And I helped
brooksmoses process data for his paper, which may get that done sooner, and at least allowed me to justify my existence by being useful.I wish my gut would stop hurting.
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From:
no subject
Hmm... where have I heard that sentiment, recently? FWIW, desperate or not, you're quite pretty. At least, when you *want* to be... sometimes your body language in public settings tends towards "don't notice me, I'm not here, leave me alone" in my own observation.
at least allowed me to justify my existence by being useful.
And I'm glad of your existence, and what you contribute to those close to you, your friends and communities... even if/when we're personally at odds over some issue or another. (smile)
From:
no subject
As to the other -- meh. I've had my face fairly frequently rubbed in the fact that I've got a body type fairly well-aligned with conventional notions of physical attractiveness whether I want it or not, and therefore am construed as a legitimate target for other people's bitterness about the stupidity of such conventional notions. Given that I've got a lingering bias against whatever is "the popular thing" in any given field . . . .
From:
no subject
(virtual hug) Being conventionally attractive isn't your fault, per se, and I've never seen you defending mainstream-privilege...
Too bad that you're a night owl, or I'd invite you and
From:
further justification
You want useful?
I'll give you useful.
How about, you've been a bit of sanity in all of my thrashing polyamory confusions. A bit of sense.
You're smart.
Quick.
Honest. (so it seems)
Honest about what you're still confused about.
Willing to buck the polyamory party line, when it is your truth.
like...
"mine. MINE! mine mine mine" does not make one a bad polyamorist.
like...
"Yes, we are lovers. Yes, romantically. No, I don't have any sexual desire for you at all" can make perfect sense.
like...
Living poly doesn't have to be high drama. It can be about paying the bills, and feeding the cats, and loving two people at the same time.
like...
There are so many kind of/brands of/flavors of "love" that the distinction between "loving" and "being in love" is utterly meaningless. Utterly.
like...
I don't know what else.
What I know is that
- your writing, your thinking, has been more useful to me than anything I've come across in 3 months on LJ and alt.polyamory.
- that you've more than justified your existance.
- that I wish Boston were closer to Phila. It might be fun to go out and have a cup of coffee. If it wouldn't bother your gut. Or mine.
Good luck with the handbell choir in your skull. Hope you are at least getting some good harmonies out of it.
From:
no subject
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no subject
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From:
no subject
Cellphone would probably be useful in case of case.
Where to?
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no subject
Well, at least we stayed in bed late. :}
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
I empathize with the "shouldn't say things in public" feeling as well: I find myself flying off the handle at the smallest things. I hope the stress eases up for you.
And for what it's worth, I think you're attractive, and I don't think of myself as shallow : >
From:
the ear thing -
I'm sorry you're stressed out, and I'm offering small hugs, but not knowing anything about it, it seems fairly useless to offer any advice. Except for this - you have friends and lovers who clearly don't think you are either shallow or unattractive: can we go with the majority vote?
From:
no subject
Also, you're right, that's a very handsome statue indeed.
From:
no subject
It must be the GM in me that thinks that Set is a very necessary god for anythign involving ancient Egypt, if not an exactly personable one. ;-) (Next time you're over, remind me to show you a sketch I did a while back. Have one of Anubis, too, somewhere...)
And I'll definitely have to bounce some of my ancient myth game ideas off you sometime. As long as you don't mind that I've taken horrible liberties with the gods and their agendas...
From:
no subject
Bouncing is fine. :}