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Facebook Archive process previously included Facebook only bothering to have me notice a tiny fraction of what I said. So this is some of the rest of it.
Contains kid stories, kvetching, and status updates on the writing process for the Traveller's Guide. Moderately complete archive.
Monday, April 26, 2010 at 2:36pm
Baby says, "Wyeah-ah!" I cannot help but agree.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 5:16pm
Coffee table = baby standing device. Excitement here!
Friday, April 30, 2010 at 1:02pm
thinks life is good. The diaper laundry is in the dryer, the babymonster is asleep, I have leftover Pizza Hut and Coke with real sugar in it.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 5:07pm
has dug up some weed trees in the backyard, the kidlet is happily burbling, and it's not too hot.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 2:43pm
lives with the cutest little self-propelled dust mop in the universe.
Friday, May 7, 2010 at 10:24am
returns from the nine-month wellbaby with a lightly punctured sleepy baby. All is good. She is still huge.
Friday, May 7, 2010 at 5:53pm
went to the park with the babymonster! We played on the swings, and sat on the teeter-totter, and played with the baby area where there were chimes, and went down the slide once. There were other babies. She stared at them.
Saturday, May 8, 2010 at 3:12pm
blinks slowly. There's no kill like overkill. Nothing says D&D like instantly doing twice an opponent's health points because we overprepared just a little.
Monday, May 10, 2010 at 2:45pm
checks, I swear, every couple of hours to see if she has a tooth breaking through on the top, on the offchance that if such an event were to take place she would stop being such a fucking pill.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 3:40pm
tries Chimay Grande Reserve, as a result of a friend who wishes me to learn about the magic of beer. This beer requires cheese. Fortunately, I also have cheese.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 11:45am
discovers a secret benefit to being so burnt out that I set up the baby containment device: I can give the baby food to eat and the cats can't steal it. The Stupid Cat is sitting just on the outside staring wistfully at her lunchmeat and occasionally saying, "Mrrryeah?"
Sunday, May 16, 2010 at 3:48pm
remembers how to tune a guitar!
Monday, May 17, 2010 at 8:40am
The baby woke herself up by sleepcrawling into the headboard of the bed. Bonk. Whut?
Monday, May 17, 2010 at 5:49pm
is trapped in a nature program about the habits of the Lesser Wailing Angstface.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 8:19pm
is filled with triumph, for the grocery store still had kosher-for-Passover Coke. (!) We restocked our stash of real sugar.
Also, I am covered with twenty-pound mammals, plus or minus three pounds.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 9:32pm
reads ancient Egyptian mortuary texts for purposes of translating them into humorous renditions for current project. The one I'm staring at really, seriously parses to me as "You, the deceased, will totally not be arrested as a terrorist suspect by the spirit world's official thugs."
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:29pm
just caused hilarity by hauling the babymonster upstairs. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of damp, I will fear no diaper," I said. "For it is your night to change her."
Friday, May 21, 2010 at 12:15am
is feeling like a horrible excuse for a human being right now. I think I need to put in extra effort to make it to church this weekend because, on top of everything else, right now I'm hitting a major point of "I'm burned out on doing the heavy lifting, can't someone else preach for a bit?"
Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 5:00pm
The babymonster is banging her head on the wall because she likes the noise it makes. She's almost ready for the internet.
Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 8:42pm
keeps staring at the page of the manuscript titled "Hymn to Ra" and otherwise blank, and I have nothing but "The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace ...." It is difficult to work under these conditions.
Monday, May 24, 2010 at 2:49pm
is struck by one sort of stunning realisation now that she's on Facebook and back in touch with a whole bunch of people. Which is:
Shit. We're the grownups now.
When did that happen?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 3:02pm
is ded of hot. Baby is sprawled in the crib in a 'must maximise surface area or will be ded of hot' kind of way. Locatable cat-thermometer not at maximum extension (forepaws still tucked in to chest) but pretty well stretched; the other cat is wandering about and not flopped on the nearest tile floor.
I wish my brain didn't shut down when the temp hits the mid-eighties.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 5:07pm
The babe is playing peekaboo with me using the blanket Genevieve Wood made for her.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 12:04am
has a horrible suspicion that writing an acrostic is probably cheating on my "all must be structured poetic forms" requirement for the manuscript. On the other hand, it lets me cross something off my to-do list.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 5:08pm
is, if you hear KJ tell it, insufficiently sympathetic to baby sadness. Do I not understand that her TEETH hurt? Do I not understand that it is HOT? Why am I not FIXING THESE THINGS RIGHT NOW?
(Of course, she won't let me put anything on her gums.)
Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 11:59am
finds it difficult to protect her sandwich from the cat and the baby simultaneously.
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 12:15am
watches the other parents attempt to get KJ to let go of a piece of plum she filched out of a pie. Best comment so far: "It's like you're in a nursery rhyme!"
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 3:49pm
pulls her hair out. She is so intent on wanting to whine that she is doing it while nursing. My reality is a constant stream of aggravated whimpering.
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 4:04pm
discovers she was quiet because she was playing with the real remote (rather than the one with no batteries that we let her play with) by ... suddenly noticing that she's turned on Mythbusters.
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 11:44pm
hands da babe back to her daddy. "... this baby is appreciably heavier than when I gave her to you. *How much milk did you put in her?*"
Saturday, May 29, 2010 at 2:57pm
dreamed of being exhausted and wanting to go to sleep. That should let you know how my life is going lately.
Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 10:55pm
goes back and forth on thinking this project is completely awesome and hating every moment of it. However, this going back and forth persistently comes with progress on the wordcount and clearing through my to-do list, so I will make do. (Right now: hate.)
Monday, May 31, 2010 at 5:47pm
unsnarls the next part of this manuscript (which was on her to-do as, more or less, "WAUGH FIGURE OUT WHAT GOES HERE"). Now I have to actually write it. Because figuring out what goes there is not sufficient, I have to actually do the worky part.
I wish outlining achieved more.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010 at 4:51pm
has hunted a baby gate and dragged it back to cave. We will no longer have to rely on a(n increasingly inadequate) pile of pillows in the hall to contain her.
The cats will be sad about this. The pile of pillows blocking the hall provided them with two essential catly needs: to be flopped on something comfy and to be in the way.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 10:43pm
has decided to take a break from trying to produce manuscript to read _Watchmen_. Maybe that - and some sleep, if I can pull that off - will let me feel less wound up and more productive.
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 1:28pm
has observed the smart cat leaping the baby gate, after yelling at it (and me) for a bit for inconveniencing him. So the only cat of concern is the dim one.
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 3:15pm
is shocked: the other cat made it over the babygate after a while of plaintive pawing and futile attempts to scale a smooth vertical surface. Of course, this means that I will never get the baby to sleep. At lesat because he's here to be tacklehugged she's not, at this moment, screaming.
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 7:07pm
needed to explain the "I'm on a boat" song to Brooks. Thus pulled up the youtube and was playing it.
And suddenly, Kevin laughs and points, and there in the playpen is KJ, *totally rocking out*.
My baby likes the "I'm on a boat" song. I, uh.
Saturday, June 5, 2010 at 12:14pm
gives in to the baby. She keeps saying "Ah-ba! Ah-ba!" So I put in "Lay All Your Love On Me."
Sunday, June 6, 2010 at 7:18pm
finishes the draft of the amulets section for the manuscript with a décima. I make slow progress at last, and that was one of the nest-of-snakes sections of the project, so! Load off my mind.
Thursday, June 10, 2010 at 5:00pm
goes to get a drink, and babymeltdown. I get back and she had crawled after me clutching a bottle of Rescue Remedy (For Kids).
I, well. What can one do? I gave her some.
It stopped the screaming?
Thursday, June 10, 2010 at 10:02pm
has one of those horrifying and insightful realisations about her theological work, the sort of stuff that cracks open my brain and makes me go, "Shit, is that why I've been doing this project? The deeper reason that ambushes me in the long run?" And right now I kinda want to curl up and whimper.
Or have a really stiff drink. Maybe be someone else for a while, because being me is burning out my poor tender head.
Friday, June 11, 2010 at 3:18pm
watches the baby steal C's iPhone, wake it up, scan past the security screen, and turn on the US Constitution app.
Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 7:44pm
just got assistance putting the diaper laundry away from the baby herself. Adorable *and* helpful.
Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:26pm
augh. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of NO NAP I will fear NO BABY, for ... no, wait, I think I'm back to "Augh."
Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 3:02pm
augh. We appear to have entered into the developmental phase describable as, "A *diaper*, sirrah? UNHAND ME!"
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 9:28pm
explains to the baby that smacking the television screen with the remote (batteryless, nonfunctional, given to her as a toy in any case) is not how this stuff works.
Friday, June 18, 2010 at 9:48pm
successfully renders Spell 32 as a ghazal. Pro tip: Don't write a ghazal. Ever.
Saturday, June 19, 2010 at 6:05pm
finds the baby playing with her rhyming dictionary. "Sweetie, you don't need that. Everything you say rhymes with 'ba'." She said, "... ba?"
Monday, June 21, 2010 at 11:21am
plays "Whatchyousin" for da babe. She bops. Nathaniel Parson, you have a tiny fan.
Monday, June 21, 2010 at 7:56pm
watches da babe drink the jus from the roast. With extreme enthusiasm. I just, y'know, "Yep! That's my kid!"
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 1:45pm
says, "Diaper!" to the baby as I finish up the diaper change. She promptly starts doing the ASL 'diaper' sign with both hands. Painfully adorable.
Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 12:13am
is crispy, both in the "eighteen hour day after three hours sleep" version, and the "lightly sunburnt" version. Was a good day though.
Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 11:29am
Her royal babeness now associates headshaking with "No". She also associates headshaking with "completely hilarious to do".
Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 11:23pm
is torn between "aggravated" and "amused". The baby's current response to the way I yell and take away the breast when she bites me on the nipple is to beam gleefully and ... shake her head "no".
Yes, baby, that's correct. No biting.
Ow.
Monday, June 28, 2010 at 11:25am
gets the baby to sleep! Celebrates with chocolate cake for breakfast. (But no grapefruit juice.)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 at 3:07pm
dances around to Roxette with the baby.
Contains kid stories, kvetching, and status updates on the writing process for the Traveller's Guide. Moderately complete archive.
Monday, April 26, 2010 at 2:36pm
Baby says, "Wyeah-ah!" I cannot help but agree.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 5:16pm
Coffee table = baby standing device. Excitement here!
Friday, April 30, 2010 at 1:02pm
thinks life is good. The diaper laundry is in the dryer, the babymonster is asleep, I have leftover Pizza Hut and Coke with real sugar in it.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 5:07pm
has dug up some weed trees in the backyard, the kidlet is happily burbling, and it's not too hot.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 2:43pm
lives with the cutest little self-propelled dust mop in the universe.
Friday, May 7, 2010 at 10:24am
returns from the nine-month wellbaby with a lightly punctured sleepy baby. All is good. She is still huge.
Friday, May 7, 2010 at 5:53pm
went to the park with the babymonster! We played on the swings, and sat on the teeter-totter, and played with the baby area where there were chimes, and went down the slide once. There were other babies. She stared at them.
Saturday, May 8, 2010 at 3:12pm
blinks slowly. There's no kill like overkill. Nothing says D&D like instantly doing twice an opponent's health points because we overprepared just a little.
Monday, May 10, 2010 at 2:45pm
checks, I swear, every couple of hours to see if she has a tooth breaking through on the top, on the offchance that if such an event were to take place she would stop being such a fucking pill.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 3:40pm
tries Chimay Grande Reserve, as a result of a friend who wishes me to learn about the magic of beer. This beer requires cheese. Fortunately, I also have cheese.
Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 11:45am
discovers a secret benefit to being so burnt out that I set up the baby containment device: I can give the baby food to eat and the cats can't steal it. The Stupid Cat is sitting just on the outside staring wistfully at her lunchmeat and occasionally saying, "Mrrryeah?"
Sunday, May 16, 2010 at 3:48pm
remembers how to tune a guitar!
Monday, May 17, 2010 at 8:40am
The baby woke herself up by sleepcrawling into the headboard of the bed. Bonk. Whut?
Monday, May 17, 2010 at 5:49pm
is trapped in a nature program about the habits of the Lesser Wailing Angstface.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 8:19pm
is filled with triumph, for the grocery store still had kosher-for-Passover Coke. (!) We restocked our stash of real sugar.
Also, I am covered with twenty-pound mammals, plus or minus three pounds.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 9:32pm
reads ancient Egyptian mortuary texts for purposes of translating them into humorous renditions for current project. The one I'm staring at really, seriously parses to me as "You, the deceased, will totally not be arrested as a terrorist suspect by the spirit world's official thugs."
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:29pm
just caused hilarity by hauling the babymonster upstairs. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of damp, I will fear no diaper," I said. "For it is your night to change her."
Friday, May 21, 2010 at 12:15am
is feeling like a horrible excuse for a human being right now. I think I need to put in extra effort to make it to church this weekend because, on top of everything else, right now I'm hitting a major point of "I'm burned out on doing the heavy lifting, can't someone else preach for a bit?"
Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 5:00pm
The babymonster is banging her head on the wall because she likes the noise it makes. She's almost ready for the internet.
Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 8:42pm
keeps staring at the page of the manuscript titled "Hymn to Ra" and otherwise blank, and I have nothing but "The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace ...." It is difficult to work under these conditions.
Monday, May 24, 2010 at 2:49pm
is struck by one sort of stunning realisation now that she's on Facebook and back in touch with a whole bunch of people. Which is:
Shit. We're the grownups now.
When did that happen?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 3:02pm
is ded of hot. Baby is sprawled in the crib in a 'must maximise surface area or will be ded of hot' kind of way. Locatable cat-thermometer not at maximum extension (forepaws still tucked in to chest) but pretty well stretched; the other cat is wandering about and not flopped on the nearest tile floor.
I wish my brain didn't shut down when the temp hits the mid-eighties.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 5:07pm
The babe is playing peekaboo with me using the blanket Genevieve Wood made for her.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 12:04am
has a horrible suspicion that writing an acrostic is probably cheating on my "all must be structured poetic forms" requirement for the manuscript. On the other hand, it lets me cross something off my to-do list.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 5:08pm
is, if you hear KJ tell it, insufficiently sympathetic to baby sadness. Do I not understand that her TEETH hurt? Do I not understand that it is HOT? Why am I not FIXING THESE THINGS RIGHT NOW?
(Of course, she won't let me put anything on her gums.)
Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 11:59am
finds it difficult to protect her sandwich from the cat and the baby simultaneously.
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 12:15am
watches the other parents attempt to get KJ to let go of a piece of plum she filched out of a pie. Best comment so far: "It's like you're in a nursery rhyme!"
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 3:49pm
pulls her hair out. She is so intent on wanting to whine that she is doing it while nursing. My reality is a constant stream of aggravated whimpering.
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 4:04pm
discovers she was quiet because she was playing with the real remote (rather than the one with no batteries that we let her play with) by ... suddenly noticing that she's turned on Mythbusters.
Friday, May 28, 2010 at 11:44pm
hands da babe back to her daddy. "... this baby is appreciably heavier than when I gave her to you. *How much milk did you put in her?*"
Saturday, May 29, 2010 at 2:57pm
dreamed of being exhausted and wanting to go to sleep. That should let you know how my life is going lately.
Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 10:55pm
goes back and forth on thinking this project is completely awesome and hating every moment of it. However, this going back and forth persistently comes with progress on the wordcount and clearing through my to-do list, so I will make do. (Right now: hate.)
Monday, May 31, 2010 at 5:47pm
unsnarls the next part of this manuscript (which was on her to-do as, more or less, "WAUGH FIGURE OUT WHAT GOES HERE"). Now I have to actually write it. Because figuring out what goes there is not sufficient, I have to actually do the worky part.
I wish outlining achieved more.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010 at 4:51pm
has hunted a baby gate and dragged it back to cave. We will no longer have to rely on a(n increasingly inadequate) pile of pillows in the hall to contain her.
The cats will be sad about this. The pile of pillows blocking the hall provided them with two essential catly needs: to be flopped on something comfy and to be in the way.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 10:43pm
has decided to take a break from trying to produce manuscript to read _Watchmen_. Maybe that - and some sleep, if I can pull that off - will let me feel less wound up and more productive.
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 1:28pm
has observed the smart cat leaping the baby gate, after yelling at it (and me) for a bit for inconveniencing him. So the only cat of concern is the dim one.
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 3:15pm
is shocked: the other cat made it over the babygate after a while of plaintive pawing and futile attempts to scale a smooth vertical surface. Of course, this means that I will never get the baby to sleep. At lesat because he's here to be tacklehugged she's not, at this moment, screaming.
Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 7:07pm
needed to explain the "I'm on a boat" song to Brooks. Thus pulled up the youtube and was playing it.
And suddenly, Kevin laughs and points, and there in the playpen is KJ, *totally rocking out*.
My baby likes the "I'm on a boat" song. I, uh.
Saturday, June 5, 2010 at 12:14pm
gives in to the baby. She keeps saying "Ah-ba! Ah-ba!" So I put in "Lay All Your Love On Me."
Sunday, June 6, 2010 at 7:18pm
finishes the draft of the amulets section for the manuscript with a décima. I make slow progress at last, and that was one of the nest-of-snakes sections of the project, so! Load off my mind.
Thursday, June 10, 2010 at 5:00pm
goes to get a drink, and babymeltdown. I get back and she had crawled after me clutching a bottle of Rescue Remedy (For Kids).
I, well. What can one do? I gave her some.
It stopped the screaming?
Thursday, June 10, 2010 at 10:02pm
has one of those horrifying and insightful realisations about her theological work, the sort of stuff that cracks open my brain and makes me go, "Shit, is that why I've been doing this project? The deeper reason that ambushes me in the long run?" And right now I kinda want to curl up and whimper.
Or have a really stiff drink. Maybe be someone else for a while, because being me is burning out my poor tender head.
Friday, June 11, 2010 at 3:18pm
watches the baby steal C's iPhone, wake it up, scan past the security screen, and turn on the US Constitution app.
Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 7:44pm
just got assistance putting the diaper laundry away from the baby herself. Adorable *and* helpful.
Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:26pm
augh. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of NO NAP I will fear NO BABY, for ... no, wait, I think I'm back to "Augh."
Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 3:02pm
augh. We appear to have entered into the developmental phase describable as, "A *diaper*, sirrah? UNHAND ME!"
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 9:28pm
explains to the baby that smacking the television screen with the remote (batteryless, nonfunctional, given to her as a toy in any case) is not how this stuff works.
Friday, June 18, 2010 at 9:48pm
successfully renders Spell 32 as a ghazal. Pro tip: Don't write a ghazal. Ever.
Saturday, June 19, 2010 at 6:05pm
finds the baby playing with her rhyming dictionary. "Sweetie, you don't need that. Everything you say rhymes with 'ba'." She said, "... ba?"
Monday, June 21, 2010 at 11:21am
plays "Whatchyousin" for da babe. She bops. Nathaniel Parson, you have a tiny fan.
Monday, June 21, 2010 at 7:56pm
watches da babe drink the jus from the roast. With extreme enthusiasm. I just, y'know, "Yep! That's my kid!"
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 1:45pm
says, "Diaper!" to the baby as I finish up the diaper change. She promptly starts doing the ASL 'diaper' sign with both hands. Painfully adorable.
Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 12:13am
is crispy, both in the "eighteen hour day after three hours sleep" version, and the "lightly sunburnt" version. Was a good day though.
Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 11:29am
Her royal babeness now associates headshaking with "No". She also associates headshaking with "completely hilarious to do".
Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 11:23pm
is torn between "aggravated" and "amused". The baby's current response to the way I yell and take away the breast when she bites me on the nipple is to beam gleefully and ... shake her head "no".
Yes, baby, that's correct. No biting.
Ow.
Monday, June 28, 2010 at 11:25am
gets the baby to sleep! Celebrates with chocolate cake for breakfast. (But no grapefruit juice.)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 at 3:07pm
dances around to Roxette with the baby.
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In particular, "The babe is playing peekaboo with me using the blanket Genevieve Wood made for her" was entertaining because just this evening M. was playing peekabo with
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"A *diaper*, sirrah? UNHAND ME!"
*shatters*