Detached self-analysis

[kiya]

The weirdest thing about being under this level and this type of stress is how, instead of being fairly consistently integrated across my aspects, I'm shifting very abruptly from personality to personality, with each one fronting for a varying amount of time before some stimulus or other sends another one dominant.

It's like a dial, going click-click-click. There's no transition. One moment I'm bawling my eyes out, the next moment I'm analysing the correct language for referring to the personality that's currently in the driver's seat.

I'm Darkhawk now. I was Silver five minutes ago, and back where I was last night before Do Not Baboon knocked me solidly into the Altair's Child for the night. My shirt is still damp from that, but I can see again. Occasionally I dip into Stormwolf for abrupt split seconds of blind rage and then snap into someone else. I'm not . . . the integrated personality, I'm the splinters, each in turn.

Fascinating, captain.

Hm. Kevin's come home. With R&G Are Dead.

Comments

[elisem.livejournal.com]

I think my current problem is that Silver doesn't have much if any defense against pain. Which means she tries to interact with the relationship-problem, it hurts her badly, she shuts down, and the self-defense personae -- Stormwolf and Frostpaw, mostly -- take over until the problem is no longer a "threat" (often due to inflicted damage), at which point Silver flips back to try to fix the damage. . . I think I need to de-stress the situation enough that Silver can do her job without having to go it alone and not having her protectors around.

Hm. Makes sense. In the meantime, I wonder if it would maybe be useful to Silver to have the borry (as you say) of one of several lioness-cloaks of ringmail, very very fine and supple. This lioness finds them useful for certain things, as they are designed to provide appropriate protection when certain Big Energy is being handled. Dunno as Silver'd want to take up wearing them long-term, as that sort of insulation has drawbacks as well as benefits (and takes certain kinds of practice to handle some of the more delicate, more long-post-crisis tasks), but they might could be useful short-term, and wouldn't take much learning, for that particular use anyhow, I think.

If it turns out you'd (for such values of you as may vary) find such a thing useful/interesting, they're on the brass coatpeg thingums inside the back door of the Imaginary Outpost over here; I shall leave a note with the gate guard explaining that you are to be treated with every courtesy (including being hospitably ignored, if that proves comforting -- I know some situations in which receiving that has been a great goodness for me, so I offer it just in case). The big blue-gray one is the thickest, and the shiny mithril-looking one is the most supple' the rest are somewhere in between. Please to leave a pawprint on the board to say hello, if you wish, and have my good wishes for you.

Good wishes in both short-term and long-term, I might add.

[kiya]

I shall try seeing if getting one of those on helps, yes. (Though at the moment, Altair's Child is a bit busy going, "Ooh, shiny! And it makes chink-chink noises if you shake it like this, look!" so it might be a bit.) :}