Zzzr.

[kiya]

I spent a lot of today working on an e-mail that I hadn't been working on because I just didn't have the energy, because it's a really big rock to roll uphill. But I got it done.

I'm feeling better and saner about a lot of things, but also like everything I do to progress on the better and saner front a) takes all the energy I've got and b) . . . takes all the energy I've got.

I'm also being a sorry excuse for a mammal again and getting my usual premenstrual hot flashes, which doesn't help my state of mind.

Kevin thinks my headache is stress related. I don't think that makes sense; I'm at the lowest stress I've been in a couple of weeks right now, I'm just really fucking tired.

I don't know why I'm rambling at my journal, I just sorta am.

Addendum: as soon as I posted this I remembered that I wanted to complain that this war movie that Kevin was watching (until one in the morning) was playing Stars and Stripes Forever at me. Which is still wired into my backone as a kata. . . .

Comments

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling better and saner about a lot of things, but also like everything I do to progress on the better and saner front a) takes all the energy I've got and b) . . . takes all the energy I've got.

when i was depressed, i did find that to be true, sadly. the only thing that was harder than staying depressed was working to not be depressed any more.

on the other hand, working to not be depressed will have an end point, at least for this time, when it's not so hard any more because you're not so depressed any more.