On the subject of names.

[kiya]

Just wrote something elsewhere that I wanted to keep. (Context: calling people by their 'real names', which phrase I hate with the burning passion of a thousand suns.)

The only purpose the legal name serves in my life is to fill out legal forms for people who have no need to know who I actually am and to receive checks. I'm not kidding when I say that I don't always remember to answer to it; it doesn't belong to anyone who lives here, it's just the address for the body. Calling me 'Heather' feels about as personal to me as calling me 'Lewis Street'.

You know, the more times I witness variants of this argument, the more appealing the concept of changing my name legally is. I could pick something that actually sounds like me to me and stop having quite so many, ". . . wait, was that directed at me?" moments. I even know what I'd do if I could be arsed doing it.

(Word count for today: 798, and that's section 40 and done. Yesterday's was 98 on 39, which finished it.)

Comments

[kiya]

So a while back I managed to fall down a flight of stairs or something equivalently clever, and got up and dusted myself off and proclaimed, "Grace. Is my middle name."

My ex-boyfriend the wolf, thinking he was being witty, replied, "I thought your middle name was Anne."

I, having thought of that comeback already, responded, "Anne means grace."

(It does.)



(So clearly, and this would be the point of this comment, 'Elynne' means 'Whimsical Perversity'.)

[linenoise.livejournal.com]

You know, that line just made me fall over laughing. Thank you.

(Oh, and the whole "real name" thing baffles me oft as well. From a different angle than you, I think. To me, is all just labels. What matters which label, so long as content is transmitted?)

[kiya]

I am geekly, hear me roar!

It's so nice when someone sets up one of my jokes for me.


I've got a certain amount of understanding for that position as well. But then again, lstone and I tend to call each other by names of roleplaying characters we haven't played in years, and only notice after we've been chatting for a while. (My Eudora nick for him expands to his forename and three handles from three different games.)


Good to see you around, by the way. Been a while.

[linenoise.livejournal.com]

I've never had nicknames. And I've never had a character with enough independent personality to be known by that. So I suppose my perspective is different.

I've been around the whole time. Just, you know, not saying anything. I don't have much worth saying, most of the time. I tend to forget sometimes that people think I'm not here anymore when I'm all quiet.

[boojum.livejournal.com]

Sometimes labels affect the communication. I have old nicknames that only a few people know. Being called them means different things to me than being called Kim, because they're not general-purpose names. They're history/context names.

It hurts when some of my in-laws address something to me with a wrong last name, because they don't know me well enough to not make the assumption that I took my husband's last name when we married, and because they drift back to that assumption even after being told. They are trying to view me as someone I'm not, someone who follows more of our society's gender roles.

I don't think someone's legal name is necessarily their real name, and I think people can have multiple real names, or none, but I think the concept of real names is useful, because for each person there are names that aren't real. Calling someone by their hated rival's name is often worse than calling them "Hey, you".

[the-real-diana.livejournal.com]

Amen SISTER! I feel the same way! Members of my non immediate family are even suggesting that we're not really married. They are putting the name on the cards they send and every time I see it I get pissed off. I don't want to make him feel like I don't want to be associated with him, it's just silly that's all. If both of us were to change our name I'd go along with it. When I went on my school trip someone literally said to me, "I don't want my girlfriend talking to you." when they found out about my non-name changing. I'm a bad influence!!! I didn't even smoke any crack! I don't think that people who do are bad, I just think that I should have the right to pick my own freeking name. John Stuart Mill baby!!! If you haven't read "On the Subjugation of Women" you should read it.

I had my wallet stolen once, and that was such a pain in the butt. I really don't want to go through that again for a dumb reason.

[kiya]

So what's the payrate for being a Corrupting Influence? Are the benefits good?

Just looking into my career options here . . .

[the-real-diana.livejournal.com]

So far all I've got has been the satisfaction that I suprised and shocked people. Which you wouldn't think I'd do very often, I am actually pretty boring. But apparently the older you get the easier it is.

[the-real-diana.livejournal.com]

that wasn't my brother was it? It sounds like something he would do.

[kiya]

Nah, that was Eric the Tall and Blond.

[the-real-diana.livejournal.com]

Dude, you should have hooked a sista up back in the day. :)