Resembles being too tired.

[kiya]

One of these days I'll learn how to recognise when people aren't actually going to hear what I'm trying to say and stop trying to argue with them. Sometimes I can do this ahead of time -- I failed to post something to alt.callahans earlier today because I could tell that the person I would have responded to wouldn't hear me, and it would just embroil me in another pointless argument. (And polyamory is giving me enough pointless arguments right now.)

And I can do it with particular people. I can not wind up in a fight with a Certain Someone when that favorite old chestnut "Those wicked polyfolk who keep saying that it's not about sex are just pandering to a sex-negative culture!" gets trotted out yet again. I've had that argument before, with that person as well as with others, several times.

Bleh.

Polyamory isn't about sex. It's not about having one's needs met. It's not about outgrowing swingings. It's not about enlightenment. It's not about sacred sex. It's not about world change. It's not about a lack of commitment. It's not about a superfluity of commitment. It's not about kink. Individual polyfolk may have practices that have to do with any of those things. But none of them are what polyamory is "about".

For me, polyamory isn't "about" anything.

. . . though it seems to be a source of endless argument with someone who is quite bound to tell me that I'm either lying or deluded about myself.

Clearly, my wisdom isn't mature enough, because I'm not too tired to argue.

Comments

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

*shrug*

Argument... happens. It's damn frustrating arguing but it's extremely rewarding to feel you've enlightened someone - how much of this is "I'm right" is anybody's guess.

I do want to mention, very briefly, my take on polyamory. Do feel free to disagree. There is one common thread I have seen in polyamory: the people involved either have or allow themselves to have more than one romantic relationship at the same time, every single one of these relationships being aboveboard and ethical.

I know, it's not quite sound byte material.

Everything else is up in the air from what I know - the sex, primaries, hierarchy, time juggling, polyfidelity.

If you do disagree with the above premise I won't hold it against you (not my way) but I would be curious as to what you would figure to be inaccurate, either just for you or in general.

BTW, when's the next time I'm cooking for you and yours?

[kiya]

I think my only disagreement with you premise is that I believe that some people try to do polyamory, and fail to be above-board and all; I don't think that means they're not polyamorous, but I think it means they're doing a hash-up job of it.


And oh. Your cooking. Damn, I have no earthly idea. . . . :}