My aunt goes to eleven.

[kiya]

I am largely skipping holidayfoo this year, for I am tired and queasy. I called Dad's place to wish him, my brother, my aunt, and my cousins a happy pre-Christmas though, as they are all festive and such.

Talking to my brother, I was informed that my aunt was standing next to him looking fit to snatch the phone from him or possibly explode, so he was going to hand it over so he didn't get hurt.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS AND CONGRATULATIONS! ... how're you doing?"

"Well, nauseous and sleepy...."

We exchanged pleasantries, and eventually got around to:

"So! Do you have anything in particular you want for the baby?!"

"Uh. [Dad's wife] wants to knit a baby blanket, another friend was going to crochet one, I'm set for baby blankets, I don't know!"

"OKAY! I have expertise in having babies, I can come up with something!"

"Well, you certainly have more expertise than I do!"

My aunt is kind of terrifying.

And yes, this is me telling you people that I'm performing R&D for offspring. I know some of you know and some of you suspected and all that good stuff, but we decided we'd tell people around Christmas, and this story was funny enough to hang it on.

Now you know why I don't post anymore. I'm too busy sleeping. Making people is hard work.