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(Pardon incoherence. Bad headache.)
Djet and neheh return to me in their interweavings, and I contemplate time. I wrote this to the Cauldron the other day:
I use djet. I look at deadlines and say, "I need to get this done by the deadline." Even things that have nothing to do with the deadline in a real sense, I do that way. In neheh alone I stagnate -- there will be tomorrow to deal with it, so it need not be done now. It frightens me, but it's a necessary tool, it keeps me from living too much in the cycle of day to day to day. Djet is the means by which the things I will do when I get around to them come around.
Rituals tend to be stable, consistent things; they don't change much. And this is because rituals lie where djet and neheh cross. There is much that is unique in each individual's experience, stuff that each person has to go through alone, and the weight of linearity is massive. Ritualising some of those experiences is bringing them into the cycle -- this may be the first time I have done this thing, this may be a life-transforming initiation experience for me, but I am not alone in it; others have had this ritual before me, others will have it after me, perhaps even others are sharing it with me now, as we take our steps into the unknown admittedly alone but all together. It's a means of making infinity bearable, bringing it into a human scale.
This is one of the reasons I am comfortable rooting in recon practice; I can feel the neheh in these rituals, even as I adapt them to myself somewhat. Neheh is a place I can live, and where I'm comfortable. I have to face djet and understand it and learn to incorporate it into my life, but I have to do so from within neheh, where I know where things go. Djet is too large for me to face alone.
Djet and neheh return to me in their interweavings, and I contemplate time. I wrote this to the Cauldron the other day:
- That which is established resides in neheh, the time of cycles: it loops, it cycles, it repeats. This is the time of days, of the passage of the moon, of tides, of seasons, of the changes in environment, the shifts of the sky. This is safe time and known time.
That which comes to be resides in djet, linear time, in which events follow after each other in uniqueness. Djet is an awesome, challenging thing; it is huge, it is outside the normal patterns. It causes difference, it causes change, it moves beyond the established.
Most of life is a combination. Birth and death reside in neheh -- these are things that have long happened, will continue to happen, outside of specific instances. But each birth, each death, is the beginning or end of something that has never been before. Out of the interplay between the two is living made.
I have no intrinsic objections to consciously going forth into djet and making change -- but I do think that to do so without a proper sense for how awesome that form of time is is irresponsible. That space is awesome and terrible and speaks to that which can not be recalled; I fear it, even as I use it to motivate my own growth and accomplishment. Things that pass by in djet are gone forever; things that pass by in neheh will come around again in their time.
I use djet. I look at deadlines and say, "I need to get this done by the deadline." Even things that have nothing to do with the deadline in a real sense, I do that way. In neheh alone I stagnate -- there will be tomorrow to deal with it, so it need not be done now. It frightens me, but it's a necessary tool, it keeps me from living too much in the cycle of day to day to day. Djet is the means by which the things I will do when I get around to them come around.
Rituals tend to be stable, consistent things; they don't change much. And this is because rituals lie where djet and neheh cross. There is much that is unique in each individual's experience, stuff that each person has to go through alone, and the weight of linearity is massive. Ritualising some of those experiences is bringing them into the cycle -- this may be the first time I have done this thing, this may be a life-transforming initiation experience for me, but I am not alone in it; others have had this ritual before me, others will have it after me, perhaps even others are sharing it with me now, as we take our steps into the unknown admittedly alone but all together. It's a means of making infinity bearable, bringing it into a human scale.
This is one of the reasons I am comfortable rooting in recon practice; I can feel the neheh in these rituals, even as I adapt them to myself somewhat. Neheh is a place I can live, and where I'm comfortable. I have to face djet and understand it and learn to incorporate it into my life, but I have to do so from within neheh, where I know where things go. Djet is too large for me to face alone.
