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The house smells like dead fish. It used to be just the basement, yesterday, but the smell is slowly spreading. I would like it to stop raining in case it has something to do with the water and our not-terribly-weathertight basement. I am burning miscellaneous incense, which means that the house has periods of smelling like flowers, burning strawberries, and dead fish instead, which I think is an improvement. I may have to retreat into the green room at some point (which smells vigorously of all my incensecrafting supplies, 'cause it's where I keep them and my non-shrine). Perhaps I will get around to trying to make incense in self-defense.
My nose hurts. This may seem like a petty little thing, aside from the fact that it hurt so much last night that I did not sleep. Nor did I successfully nap. It's hurting less now; I'm hoping that I'm allowed to sleep today.
Normally we're a healthy system, good communication, minimal lack of continuity, good shared memory. Change front and blend front as appropriate to situation, all that good stuff. Unfortunately, I'm in a situation of stress where it's necessary for the possibility of long-term health that I actively force myselves to dissociate. I didn't quite realise it before last night when the system suddenly asserted good health and thus broke down as it was reconnected to an untenable situation. Darkhawk finds this particular failure state interesting to poke at in an abstract conceptualisation sort of way, so at least some of me is getting something out of it.
Speaking of dissociative disorders, I'm wondering why so many folks who are engaged in magically focused religious practices are so cagy about magical practice. I can see arguments on the basis of, "Well, for most things it's more practical/effective to use these other means", but that's not the same as "spellwork is a last resort". It just seems weird to me to separate it out that way and treat it differently; action is action, whether through means esoteric or exoteric. If the appropriate tool for the situation is magical, then that's the appropriate tool. (Back to 'I believe in what works' again, I am.) I find myself pondering that line that surfaced on rasfc, that went something like "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent; the competent know when to choose it."
On the upside, Witch Eye Nine arrived yesterday, and Mastering Cone 6 Glazes today. I should take them upstairs to the bedroom (which smells of bedroom) and read them.
My nose hurts. This may seem like a petty little thing, aside from the fact that it hurt so much last night that I did not sleep. Nor did I successfully nap. It's hurting less now; I'm hoping that I'm allowed to sleep today.
Normally we're a healthy system, good communication, minimal lack of continuity, good shared memory. Change front and blend front as appropriate to situation, all that good stuff. Unfortunately, I'm in a situation of stress where it's necessary for the possibility of long-term health that I actively force myselves to dissociate. I didn't quite realise it before last night when the system suddenly asserted good health and thus broke down as it was reconnected to an untenable situation. Darkhawk finds this particular failure state interesting to poke at in an abstract conceptualisation sort of way, so at least some of me is getting something out of it.
Speaking of dissociative disorders, I'm wondering why so many folks who are engaged in magically focused religious practices are so cagy about magical practice. I can see arguments on the basis of, "Well, for most things it's more practical/effective to use these other means", but that's not the same as "spellwork is a last resort". It just seems weird to me to separate it out that way and treat it differently; action is action, whether through means esoteric or exoteric. If the appropriate tool for the situation is magical, then that's the appropriate tool. (Back to 'I believe in what works' again, I am.) I find myself pondering that line that surfaced on rasfc, that went something like "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent; the competent know when to choose it."
On the upside, Witch Eye Nine arrived yesterday, and Mastering Cone 6 Glazes today. I should take them upstairs to the bedroom (which smells of bedroom) and read them.
