Damn you, migraine fairy!

I would be much, much happier if some vengeful minor divinity was not attempting to pry out my right eyeball with a spoon.

On the bright side, complaining to oneironaut, roimata, keeps, and lstone about my incompetence with language immediately revealed to me a phrasing that would work for what I'm trying to do.

Onwards! Thwart the dancing technicolour spiders!