kiya

I like the trigonometric approach to gender.

volund and catelynn and I were discussing gender-and-pronouns a bit today. I mentioned zie/zir et cetera, and commented that I'm comfortable using them for people who've asked me to, especially people I know only online. Not because online is less real, but because without the body signals there's no default pronoun for me to override. My default, I think, is to follow cultural and/or body signals, when they seem clear, and otherwise to either avoid pronouns or ask the person what they prefer. And to override the defaults when someone tells me that they prefer something other than what I would have assumed. Those preferences include at least one person who wants zie/zir in every context; one who is happy to use a gendered pronoun in offline interactions but prefers not to be gendered online; and one who encourages her friends to randomize pronouns we use for him.