Eh, if we're talking about, say, kinks (as opposed to something like, say, gender or race, where others will label you in ways that matter even if you "don't label yourself"), I don't think people should have to claim a one-word blip for something that describes them. Blips can be handy, but necessarily fail to tell the whole story.
That said, if something like "I don't think either the word 'submissive' or the word 'bottom' fits me" is code for "I don't know what I want and like the idea of making you terribly uncomfortable guessing" that's a very different animal from, say, "I don't think either of those words fit me, because although they're almost right, to me those words imply $foo or $bar, and I'm actually way off over here $fweegleing."
If "don't LABEL me!" means "Actually, it's better if we have a conversation, because it's complicated," that may be a good thing. If it's code for "I don't want to tell you what I want" it sucks profoundly.
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Date: 2010-03-07 01:09 am (UTC)That said, if something like "I don't think either the word 'submissive' or the word 'bottom' fits me" is code for "I don't know what I want and like the idea of making you terribly uncomfortable guessing" that's a very different animal from, say, "I don't think either of those words fit me, because although they're almost right, to me those words imply $foo or $bar, and I'm actually way off over here $fweegleing."
If "don't LABEL me!" means "Actually, it's better if we have a conversation, because it's complicated," that may be a good thing. If it's code for "I don't want to tell you what I want" it sucks profoundly.