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Ranting, reprised
Two things, to reprise recent demonstrations of my own personal damage.
Over in a thread on the Yes Means Yes blog there's someone ranting about the evils of homeschooling because, among other things, "how can a relationship be realio trulio equal if only one person is bringing in significant income".
(Good to know that the measure of respect and importance and meaning in a relationship is made out of cash. Thank you so much for that kick in the face.)
In the couple weeks since I signed up on FetLife, I have seen, not just on FetLife itself, that stupid 'Polyamory is Wrong!' t-shirt linked four or five fucking times. Ha ha universe. Fuck you too.
In other news, I'm wondering if I'm getting PPD. It doesn't feel like depression-depression, but I'm constantly overwhelmed, want to cry for no particular reason, and various other things. It's ... very complicated in my head, which isn't helped by the low-level sense of illness (that is probably 'I haven't slept properly in a month, or well for eight or nine'). I need to sit and kala and probably do my regular Kemetic rituals and see if it helps, but mostly I just want to sob and be left alone.
Various states of family tension do not help, and have a bad habit of dragging up guilt and shame complexes (kala kala kala). And when my mind is working I want to parse calendars - I may post on that later - not, y'know, all the other shit that needs to be done for the household.
I am increasingly dreading most human interaction. Everyone wants 105% of what I can give, from the baby on up, except - maybe - my cat, who appears to be of the opinion that when I'm available for snuggles he'll take them but is otherwise self-managing.
Also, while I'm whingeing, my arms hurt, because I just helped![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teinedreugan put a very heavy box up somewhere high and was supporting it for too long because we needed to get whispercricket to snag a footstool for me to stand on so I (second tallest person in the household) could get high enough to finish the job, which would collapse horribly if I relaxed.
... this is an excellent metaphor for my entire life right now.
Over in a thread on the Yes Means Yes blog there's someone ranting about the evils of homeschooling because, among other things, "how can a relationship be realio trulio equal if only one person is bringing in significant income".
(Good to know that the measure of respect and importance and meaning in a relationship is made out of cash. Thank you so much for that kick in the face.)
In the couple weeks since I signed up on FetLife, I have seen, not just on FetLife itself, that stupid 'Polyamory is Wrong!' t-shirt linked four or five fucking times. Ha ha universe. Fuck you too.
In other news, I'm wondering if I'm getting PPD. It doesn't feel like depression-depression, but I'm constantly overwhelmed, want to cry for no particular reason, and various other things. It's ... very complicated in my head, which isn't helped by the low-level sense of illness (that is probably 'I haven't slept properly in a month, or well for eight or nine'). I need to sit and kala and probably do my regular Kemetic rituals and see if it helps, but mostly I just want to sob and be left alone.
Various states of family tension do not help, and have a bad habit of dragging up guilt and shame complexes (kala kala kala). And when my mind is working I want to parse calendars - I may post on that later - not, y'know, all the other shit that needs to be done for the household.
I am increasingly dreading most human interaction. Everyone wants 105% of what I can give, from the baby on up, except - maybe - my cat, who appears to be of the opinion that when I'm available for snuggles he'll take them but is otherwise self-managing.
Also, while I'm whingeing, my arms hurt, because I just helped
teinedreugan put a very heavy box up somewhere high and was supporting it for too long because we needed to get whispercricket to snag a footstool for me to stand on so I (second tallest person in the household) could get high enough to finish the job, which would collapse horribly if I relaxed.... this is an excellent metaphor for my entire life right now.
no subject
There would have been 40 of us in a small tribe. Childcare would not have devolved to a single person/s but been a communal enterprise much more than is possible in modern life. Everything important would have been within walking distance. Younger children (someone's) would have existed to play with the very young ones and notify an adult if attention was needed.
The modern system is broken, plus has too many fantasy expectations tagged on top of that. Even worse, these are fantasy expectations that are almost possible, but really require being 3 people. Simply tasking 3 people to be you doesn't work, as that doesn't provide full mental integration.
no subject
The "nuclear family" is one of the most toxic memes ever invented. A lot of what's missing from modern infant-care is a pool of 5- to 12-year-olds to play with/watch over the baby.
no subject