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Musings upon multiplicity
Last night, I wrote to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
netdancer, who I know from alt.callahans, asking about resources for multiplicity that didn't pathologize.
I got a few website links.
So I've been reading them.
I could almost have written this. Well, aside from the pronouns. I even have a period in my memory that is definitely "identity amnesia". And my thoughts associating with that make me wonder if some of my internal plurality was in response to those events, though I suspect I'm at least partially a "born that way" sort.
And this also has a strong familiarity for me. (Remember I was talking about multitasking the other day, Brooks-love?)
It seems to me that a lot of systems have personalities divided up on age-bands in some way; I wonder how common it is for the divisions to fall more along purpose than age.
I also find it interesting to note that I have four aspects whose significant roles include processing anger. (Rage and other "red" emotions, moral wrongness, self-hatred, and cold poison.) (I have three that process religious stuff as a prime role, two that are 'fronts' for dealing with the outside, two that do intimacy, two that do music . . . these are overlapping sets, incidentally. The "moral wrongness" anger-processor is one of the religious processors, f'rex.)
Noodle, noodle.
netdancer, who I know from alt.callahans, asking about resources for multiplicity that didn't pathologize.I got a few website links.
So I've been reading them.
I could almost have written this. Well, aside from the pronouns. I even have a period in my memory that is definitely "identity amnesia". And my thoughts associating with that make me wonder if some of my internal plurality was in response to those events, though I suspect I'm at least partially a "born that way" sort.
And this also has a strong familiarity for me. (Remember I was talking about multitasking the other day, Brooks-love?)
It seems to me that a lot of systems have personalities divided up on age-bands in some way; I wonder how common it is for the divisions to fall more along purpose than age.
I also find it interesting to note that I have four aspects whose significant roles include processing anger. (Rage and other "red" emotions, moral wrongness, self-hatred, and cold poison.) (I have three that process religious stuff as a prime role, two that are 'fronts' for dealing with the outside, two that do intimacy, two that do music . . . these are overlapping sets, incidentally. The "moral wrongness" anger-processor is one of the religious processors, f'rex.)
Noodle, noodle.
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On the other hand, writing replies doesn't multitask; I'm much more consciously paused from the debugging in order to write this.
(Of course, there's also the point that, to some extent, there's a good bit of work-avoidance pressure going on; LJ and such is a good way to avoid having to stare at these results which are making no sense. Little wiggles happen in the Nth decimal place, which is ok, but then they grow, which isn't ok. They shouldn't be doing that.)
- Brooks, off to peer at wiggles and mutter incoherently and quietly at them some more.
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And . . . I think I found another persona in the grocery store. Which I'm finding moderately perplexing, given that I periodically go through my head looking for things I missed naming. But since my major naming went on when I was ~16 or 17, I don't think this persona would have had much opportunity to show.
She seems to answer to "Mama". I think that's Mama [ single syllable word ], but I'm not sure what the tail is. Though Mama Cat wouldn't surprise me.
On wiggles....
(I took a spot where the wiggles were very tiny, and put in a single large wiggle there, so as to be able to look at the behavior of a single wiggle.)
It still isn't doing what it should be.
- Brooks
Re: On wiggles....
Re: On wiggles....
There was a small bug in the code -- it's got a bunch of different grids, and it solves things on the different ones using the same routines, so it needs to transfer the grid information from the storage bits to the current-grid bits. And there was a flaw in this process -- it was transferring one bit of grid-information into the wrong place, and making everything go all messy.
- Brooks
Re: On wiggles....
All better now? Or at least mostly better?
Re: On wiggles....
As for the wiggles -- they seem a bit better; I'm going through the usual slow process of activating just a wee bit more of the code at a time, so all I know is that they wiggles shrink if I run things cautiously and have the program make small steps (it works by calculating stuff for one point in virtual time, stepping ahead to a later point and recalculating, and so forth; it works most reliably, like almost all such things, when it takes very small steps).
The wiggles don't shrink if I take as large steps as I'd like, though, and I think that means I forgot something somewhere; I'm tracking that down while I eat.
- Brooks
Re: On wiggles....
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that sounds more like ADD-style multitasking, actually...
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Have you read the book-- Aristoi, I think it's called, by Walter Jon Williams? It might interest you, being as it's based around a society that has gone to a lot of trouble to pull those sub-personalities out of hiding in order to make use of them and let them do whatever it is they're best at...
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-m-
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I have a name for the new one, by the way. Well, initials, anyway. "R.D." Sounds like "Artie" when said quickly, but he insists it's not "Artie."
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I've been using aspect-names for years without really thinking it through, mind. . . .
I'm finding it interesting the processing simplifications that come of thinking of myself of plural, actually; for one thing, it's helped one of my partners figure out how to make sense of me. But also I'm finding more nuance in each of my aspects, recognizing how things sort out internally where before there was sort of mental goo. I'm also suspecting that the aspect I "discovered" in this past week finds it easier to manifest strongly now that I'm aware that she's there. . . . (And this is a good thing. She's actually organized.)
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I wandered over to the Pavilion livejournal (I'm entirely too likely to forget to check up on things that aren't in areas I already look at), and it seems to require contact with its maintainer. Merble. (Who, me, awkward about talking to people I don't know? ;} )
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I'd appreciate being added, though, if you'd be so kind.
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I can see parallels in the things you've seen people pull in my experiences observing the poly community; I've now got a bit of me (probably Lightweaver) wondering at the patterns manifested thusly. (Such as whether or not there's a parallel between 'If I have more than one relationship involvement I don't have to be responsible with any of them' and 'If I have more than one self/aspect/personality, I don't have to be responsible with any of them.')
Much to think on.
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As zaphkiel said, midcontinuum is kind of rooted in the old view of things, here's something else that you can check out. The "median" view is sort of like a revamp of midcontinuum, but completely without any medical-based viewpoint. Here are some links http://www.tanuki.cx/pavilion/policies/type_median.html and http://www.tanuki.cx/pavilion/codex/types/medians.html
Pavilion in general is another non-pathological site, check it out and see what you think? http://www.tanuki.cx/pavilion Since we could very much use supporters like you.
Ok hope you hve a nice weekend!
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