Well, the classical dating scenario, as I use the phrase it, is fraught with peril and inefficiency from both ends and all levels. Which is part of why I'm seeing it less and less as Match.com slowly takes over the world.
In the biological model, the woman has some limited power to select a mate. She displays her plumage, as it were, hopefully attracting a large number of suitors, and then has the power to choose among those suitors. The man has some limited power to choose which women he will court, but has no power to choose which one of them will choose him in return.
Which, really, leaves both ends feeling dissatisfied with the process.
For a long time I thought that that was the only correct way in which to obtain a girlfriend. Too much exposure to TV when I was a child, or something. And I was pretty much resigned to never participating in any of it and dying alone, because it was a *terrifying* prospect.
Which is not to cast aspersions at all on how sucky it may or may not be on the other end, but to lend credence to the idea at the top of the thread about how rape really *is* about the sex, and the suppressed and transmuted fear that the man has of the woman gets turned into the rage and anger instead.
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Date: 2007-05-12 07:41 pm (UTC)In the biological model, the woman has some limited power to select a mate. She displays her plumage, as it were, hopefully attracting a large number of suitors, and then has the power to choose among those suitors. The man has some limited power to choose which women he will court, but has no power to choose which one of them will choose him in return.
Which, really, leaves both ends feeling dissatisfied with the process.
For a long time I thought that that was the only correct way in which to obtain a girlfriend. Too much exposure to TV when I was a child, or something. And I was pretty much resigned to never participating in any of it and dying alone, because it was a *terrifying* prospect.
Which is not to cast aspersions at all on how sucky it may or may not be on the other end, but to lend credence to the idea at the top of the thread about how rape really *is* about the sex, and the suppressed and transmuted fear that the man has of the woman gets turned into the rage and anger instead.