That should, I think, include what sort of expressions of appreciation are needed and appropriate to indicate that the gift is actually wanted.
That's actually part of my cultural issues -- Amongst My People, it is unspeakably rude to reject a gift, therefore I go to extensive lengths to develop confidence that gifts are welcome.
The bit of fraughtness that provoked this thing was a matter of scheduling, as in: "You've said you want this thing. We agreed to have this thing happen at this time. Your consistent failure to come even close to being on time is a rejection of my gift of presence more-or-less as arranged... I'm hurt/confused/bewildered/angry...."
It's an old and semi-resolved issue (the other party is probably not doing this anymore, in other words, but my perceptions are that my gifts are not valued in this arena) that came up in conversation about something completely else and provoked the realisation.
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Re: addendum
Date: 2005-12-02 05:26 pm (UTC)That's actually part of my cultural issues -- Amongst My People, it is unspeakably rude to reject a gift, therefore I go to extensive lengths to develop confidence that gifts are welcome.
The bit of fraughtness that provoked this thing was a matter of scheduling, as in: "You've said you want this thing. We agreed to have this thing happen at this time. Your consistent failure to come even close to being on time is a rejection of my gift of presence more-or-less as arranged... I'm hurt/confused/bewildered/angry...."
It's an old and semi-resolved issue (the other party is probably not doing this anymore, in other words, but my perceptions are that my gifts are not valued in this arena) that came up in conversation about something completely else and provoked the realisation.