kiya

"X is not about Y."

This is one of those interesting phrases, isn't it?

I use and interpret it to mean "Y is not an essential or motivating factor for X [in all cases, though it may be in some specific ones]."

Other people seem to use it to mean "X and Y have nothing to do with each other, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter! Eeew!"

So there's another one of those threads that comes across to me as saying "Polyamory is too about the sex you sexphobic freak."

I would be less testy about this if I were not currently completely sexually defective and with a bit of a complex about that.

Because if it is about the sex, if that's the essential reason that cannot be eliminated, if that's the real meaning, I have no family right now. Because that means that all of my relationships -- the nominally sexual ones don't exist, because there's no fucking, and the romantic relationships that don't have fucking never existed, they were just some delusion that I was stupid enough to believe mattered.

And if I didn't have enough of a guilt complex from the issues that are keeping me from maintaining my sexual relationships and disrupting the rest of my life, I need random third parties slapping each other on the back and congratulating themselves for being so enlightened as to understand that it all depends on sex and those people who claim otherwise are just repressed fools who are trying to set themselves up as superior to swingers or are brainwashed by a repressive mainstream.

So people like me who aren't currently able to process that part on all cylinders -- or indeed any cylinders at all -- hell with them. They can be alone.

Because it's about the sex. So if you don't got the sex, you got nuffin'.

I'd rather the hokey pokey be what it's all about. At least people don't get sanctimonious about the fucking hokey pokey.

And I can see that they probably don't mean "your relationships depend on sex", even though, in my use of language, that is exactly what they are saying, and right now that carries the subtext "and since you're not currently able to handle sex, YOU HAVE DESTROYED THEM ALL". At this point, I don't care, I'm going to bleed all over everything from this awkward, ripped-open wound now and feel misanthropic.

Meltdown aside: I got my

middle_egyptian work done, some sewing, saw a movie at

arawen and

whispercricket's place with

teinedreugan and

jikharra. Going to go read my dreams book now and try not to break down any more than I am already.

Tomorrow, to the shore to make my offerings, I think, and to get a bottle for

lysana. I think this is probably another one of those deep dark things that Olokun has washed up on my shore, it has the same feel as the last one.

Hey

queenofhalves -- could we do lunch or dinner sometime or something and talk about the pure arcs of the meanings of people and Feri stuff and and?