Wrote a poem

[kiya]

Transitions

To live life like a pheasant
Scratching the earth in peace:
Until
The sound of the dogs promises
That the hunters are coming
And the targets
Shall
Fly
Fly
Fly

Comments

[graydon]

It is difficult to know what to say.

(I mean, certainly the text has the poem nature, but you knew that.)

[kiya]

If I knew what to say it wouldn't have had to be a poem.

[graydon]

Entirely fair.

[kiya]

(That is of course the poem that happened when I was trying to write a different, more complicated poem, but I suspect it is better at the poem-nature than whatever it was I was trying to accomplish.)

(Writing is hard.)

[graydon]

Writing is hard, difficult, vexed, and cantankerous.

It's been a long time since I attempted anything poetic, but my general take might be that poems don't want to seem complicated, if that follows at all. Which is a trait they share with other pressure vessels.

[kiya]

Indeed. Extracting a single thread from the Gordian knot of expression produces a lexical garotte where trying to handle the whole snarl just winds up with a mass of severed cords.

Or at least this one was.

[madgastronomer]

Now that's a wonderful sentence right there.

[graydon]

They do that.

Your poem has provoked a half-stanza of (Modern) Old Lore Metre, which I put on mastodon because that way it is not stuck in my brain, so there's that, for what it is.

[kiya]

It is always good when creation inspires creation, for how else could we make the world anew?