Complexities of a mood

[kiya]

This is going to be terribly, terribly disjointed and mood-swingy. This is all the warning you get.

I spent some time working on what turned out to essentially be the last scenario of Kohan: Ahriman's Gift, on the Ahriman's Gift campaign cycle. I finally beat the damned thing. I'm wondering if this feeling of accomplishment, dubious though it may be in its application to the real world, may help me break the depression. We'll see how I feel after sleep.

I think I've been weirdly not-hit-on on alt.poly. Partly due to a photograph. Talk about your psychologically bizarre sensations. Mongo short a clue on how to deal with this. Mongo ignore. (Bah. He X-no-archives. No gooja.)

I perplexed teinedreugan with my book order that arrived. A bunch of Biblical analysis and religious stuff having to do with sexual issues, especially homosexuality as it interacts with Christianity. I find myself abstrusely pleased with this.

Speaking of twenty-five cent words beginning with A, oneironaut cheered me up earlier by commenting that I was the only person gtst could recall who used "agape" in casual conversation. (The Greek-derived 'agape', not the one out of Old Norse.) I need to decide if I want to write about the anger-management stuff that came out of here.

My lover makes poetries out of pain. I would we could spare each other our pains and heal each other's wounds rather than what we have been doing to each other, but even in the expressions of pain I can see the man I fell in love with nearly three years ago so clearly and so tenderly. It's a strange, strange feeling, to feel that overlaying the currently raw parts of my psyche with a soft blanket of almost protective affection.

And, for maximum whiplash emotional effect, no matter where I contemplate going, it's full of high-speed cats.

Okay, folks, there's your data-set. Integrate! (See why I said 'indescribable'?)

Comments

[meirion.livejournal.com]

oooh, those books sound interesting. any chance of titles/authors ? that's exactly the kind of area i'm looking for reading material in !

-m-

[kiya]

*scurries upstairs to snag books off the bedside table*

What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality, by Daniel A. Helminiak, Ph.D., Foreword by Bishop Spong.

The Church and the Homosexual, by John J. McNeill.

Those are the gay-specific ones.

Dirt, Greed, & Sex: Sexual Ethics in the New Testament and Their Implications for Today, by L. William Countryman is more general, talking about sexual codes I believe in their cultural context.

Two of these were recommended to me, but I can't remember which ones anymore (I think the third -- it was one of the homosexuality-specific ones -- is one I've heard talked about a lot, which makes for my confusion), nor can I remember specifically where or by whom.

Hope that helps. :}

[meirion.livejournal.com]

Hope that helps. :}

well, it certainly won't help my bank balance, but it'll help satisfy my intellectual curiosity and (hopefully) my spiritual disturbances. thanks !

-m-

[kiya]

Glad to be of service. :)

[kiya]

Addendum: I just finished the Helminiak book; it cites Countryman. (And argues with him about his translation of some words.)

Next book! ;)

[redbird]

No gooja, okay, but I'm curious, and it's probably in my newsreader; care to elucidate? (Email is cool, or of course you can ignore this request.)

[redbird]

Ah. That would be the "would mention that I'm an engineer, but..." post?

[meirion.livejournal.com]

i would guess so, yes. and i'm very very carefully sitting on my hands wrt that particular person, since i'm one of the few alt.poly readers who's had the opportunity to read the whole flamewar he talked about in his introductory post to alt.poly.

-m-

[rosefox]

Any useful public info you can share, there?

[kiya]

Yup.

I find that sort of thing . . . sort of disturbing on a lot of levels, honestly.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

... I have obviously been missing out, during my time away from the newsgroup. ;]

[kiya]

Nah, not really. I just hate being hit on. ;)

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Such things disturb me, too. It is not flattering, where I am words on a screen, to be associated with a body, nice-looking though someone may think it is. Is that the only good thing person has to say?

LJ is a little different, since I have pictures that are of me, but I'd still prefer the focus to be on what I'm saying and not how [adjective] I always am, whether that's "desirable", "annoying", or "smart".

[nashiitashii.livejournal.com]

I really hope things work out for the best for you. I understand and know how much it sucks to be in a mutual pain with a lover. As far as everything goes, I believe there's a reason out there for every event that occurs, no matter how strange or painful or whatever the situation may be.
And I'm not quite sure what to think about the high-speed cats.

[kiya]

I'm never entirely sure what to think of the high-speed cats. There are only two of them, but they can take up a remarkable amount of floor space when they really want to.