graydon: (Default)
graydon ([personal profile] graydon) wrote in [personal profile] kiya 2025-02-12 05:17 pm (UTC)

I'm making a (perhaps improper or unwarranted) distinction between identity and social mechanism. (Acknowledging that reparative care may be both.)

The setup is unquestionably a pain; the point I thought I was after but did not especially well express is that the identity part needs to rest on an internal conviction absent fear, rather than any external source. Externally sourced self-esteem or identity are not especially effective insecurity management (while not caring about one's fellows is terrible insecurity management in a nigh-eusocial species…) but they're (I think) particularly and ineluctably tangled into the social construction of "man".

(In large part because the social construction of "man" is an agency sump, which is not in and of itself a good thing because it's the agency sump. An agency sump would be OK.)

Absolutely hear you about the infuriatingly vibes-based aspects.


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