Not sure how to evaluate this.

[kiya]

Was poking around the web staring at diagnostic criteria for depression and poked at a trivial self-test thing (these things are useless, but I thought I'd give it a poke).

The damn thing needs to be copyedited without mercy. It popped up "Severe Depression" as a diagnosis. I pop up "Written By A Fucking Illiterate" as a diagnosis.

I'm all depression, all the time lately. Trust me, I'm even more boring in my own head.

(The Beck's inventory I came across pegs me at 'Moderate'. Unfortunately, my answers to approximately everything were between numbers, and I don't know which way the rounding error goes. Same basic test as the illiterate one, slightly different wordings.)

Comments

[elf]

I tend to test as "moderately depressed," because I get literal-minded about the questions, and "nihilism" doesn't trigger a "depressive" diagnosis.

They ask, "do you believe that nobody loves you?"
Of course not. I have a husband and kids who adore me, and many friends who value my company. Whether I think they're crazy is not covered by the test.

They ask, "Do you have trouble sleeping?"
Sort of. I HAVE KIDS. My sleep habits have not been steady in over ten years.

They ask, "Do you feel that things would be better if you were dead?"
No, I can't convince myself that anyone would be happier if I didn't exist, except maybe Wade.

I'd consider looking for counseling, except I'm pretty sure I (1) can't afford it and (2) wouldn't trust a counselor enough to talk to them...and I'm not will to play psychoactive drug roulette, trying to find one that helps.

[kiya]

The Beck's has questions like "Have you lost interest in other people" and I sort of stare at that and go, "Well, maybe a little, and mostly I suspect that my presence is pretty much a burden and a drain on everyone around me, so to the extent I have an interest in interacting with other people I don't really want to infict that on them, so ...." Not so much with the brilliant, clear answers. Peering at the options between "I feel like a complete failure as a human being" and "Looking back on my life, I mostly notice fuckups" I'm currently resting somewhere midway between them, so do I score that two points or three? Damned if I know. (Damned anyway. The blog's title is feeling sort of wickedly ironic at the moment.)

Also, it has the insomnia questions and not the hypersomnia ones, and my depression has always been hypersomnia. No, I don't wake up 1-2 hours earlier than I used to, damnit. (And this idiot DST thing isn't helping matters any.) At least the cat let me use him as a pillow today.


I got as far as downloading the intake questionnaire for the medical folks that I'm going to try to get hooked into. They prescribe herbs, acupuncturists, and the like as well as Technocratic medicine, so I have reasonable hope of maybe something other than drug roulette. I can tell them that I take B vitamin supplements and flax oil and it helps, and they may not look at me funny.

[brooksmoses]

FWIW, I've known a person who was literal-minded about the first question, and in a situation similar to yours (though with multiple loving partners and no kids), and she simply could not see that they really loved her; to her, they were obviously just going through the motions and telling her they loved her out of a feeling of obligation. And, if she disappeared, they'd be happier, because they'd be free from that obligation to pretend.

Whether I think they're crazy is not covered by the test.

Yeah. I recognize that feeling, too.