No, really. Please to ignore the huge ritual I've coordinated for the last nine years. That's an exercise in applied logistics and guerilla memetics; the fact that I have to dance around in a silly costume is a regrettable but necessary aspect. If we had more people involved, I could sit at the side of the room and hand people props instead of trying to yell over the crowd.
I hate that "oooh, everyone look at MMEEEEEE!" feeling. I hate the aftermath, looking over what I've said & done and realizing it didn't go nearly as well as I'd've liked. (It never does. The performance in my fantasy world, regardless of situation, is impossible as long as the laws of physics continue to apply.)
I rather enjoy closets; jumping out of them & scaring people is such fun. (I've also been known to hold on to a good pun for several years, waiting for the opportunity to slip it into conversation.)
Consider this: We're all born naked. Everything after that is drag. (Radical Faerie quote.)
Of course, nobody wants to be stuck in drag they don't like, and that seems to be the problem. But it helps (me, anyway) to not separate my "real self" from my "business self" or my "deal-with-gov't self" or my "talk with Christian neighbors self." It's all my real self; some of it is just more directly involved with activities I enjoy.
But just as I can deal with moving boxes around to clear the living room for a party--even though I don't actually *like* moving heavy boxes, and I can't wear my nifty costuming while doing it--I can deal with talking to the manager at work about a raise in order to make enough money to throw the same party--even though I don't like doing it, and I can't wear my nifty costumes.
You may not have to actively conceal as much as you'd thought. I'm constantly amazed at what people will assume if you don't go out of your way to tell them otherwise, enough to worry about the ethics of manipulation in letting them believe.
no subject
No, really. Please to ignore the huge ritual I've coordinated for the last nine years. That's an exercise in applied logistics and guerilla memetics; the fact that I have to dance around in a silly costume is a regrettable but necessary aspect. If we had more people involved, I could sit at the side of the room and hand people props instead of trying to yell over the crowd.
I hate that "oooh, everyone look at MMEEEEEE!" feeling. I hate the aftermath, looking over what I've said & done and realizing it didn't go nearly as well as I'd've liked. (It never does. The performance in my fantasy world, regardless of situation, is impossible as long as the laws of physics continue to apply.)
I rather enjoy closets; jumping out of them & scaring people is such fun. (I've also been known to hold on to a good pun for several years, waiting for the opportunity to slip it into conversation.)
Consider this:
We're all born naked. Everything after that is drag. (Radical Faerie quote.)
Of course, nobody wants to be stuck in drag they don't like, and that seems to be the problem. But it helps (me, anyway) to not separate my "real self" from my "business self" or my "deal-with-gov't self" or my "talk with Christian neighbors self." It's all my real self; some of it is just more directly involved with activities I enjoy.
But just as I can deal with moving boxes around to clear the living room for a party--even though I don't actually *like* moving heavy boxes, and I can't wear my nifty costuming while doing it--I can deal with talking to the manager at work about a raise in order to make enough money to throw the same party--even though I don't like doing it, and I can't wear my nifty costumes.
You may not have to actively conceal as much as you'd thought. I'm constantly amazed at what people will assume if you don't go out of your way to tell them otherwise, enough to worry about the ethics of manipulation in letting them believe.