"I think I can only speak to what's too controlling for me, what sorts of relationships presume to claim territory that I'm not willing to grant them."
I think that's true for everyone, though. There does seem to be a certain amount of consensus in my corner of society about what is just too controlling to be a good thing for anyone, but I know I am a lot more leery than most of my friends about things that look like people are coming into my territory uninvited, and it's because I'm worried those people will start planting flags in it. (Also it's terribly rude, but that'd just make me mad, not scared.)
Your brand of possessiveness makes sense to me, but it didn't come naturally for me to think of it like that. Mostly I've heard possessiveness to mean the inclination to take over people, to consider them objects without a right to personalities/attractions/interests of their own. Having your usage in my head too helps quite a bit when I have the urge to sign emails "yr affectionate", though; it's acknowledging overlap, not putting myself into someone's power.
no subject
I think that's true for everyone, though. There does seem to be a certain amount of consensus in my corner of society about what is just too controlling to be a good thing for anyone, but I know I am a lot more leery than most of my friends about things that look like people are coming into my territory uninvited, and it's because I'm worried those people will start planting flags in it. (Also it's terribly rude, but that'd just make me mad, not scared.)
Your brand of possessiveness makes sense to me, but it didn't come naturally for me to think of it like that. Mostly I've heard possessiveness to mean the inclination to take over people, to consider them objects without a right to personalities/attractions/interests of their own. Having your usage in my head too helps quite a bit when I have the urge to sign emails "yr affectionate", though; it's acknowledging overlap, not putting myself into someone's power.