kiya

More poetry

2026-10-02T02:48:18Z

Hands

I was thinking
Of a man's
Long-fingered
Elegant grace
Sliding over the neck
And body
Of his guitar

When I noticed

The hint of foliage
Growing
At the base
Of my own pillars

The temple
Of my grasp
Mature enough
To vine

And I stared
Because I
Had never thought
About that changing.

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[ gaming ] You ever have one of those days that goes on forever and is full of weasels?

2026-09-13T23:50:23Z

Dramatis Personae:

Viepuck, smart and psychic (and Es*tiaslos, purple and psychic)
Robin, resolute about saving everyone (and Greymalkin, fierce about saving everyone)
Celyn, firm believer in weaponized optimism
Izgil, who is stubborn, smart, and wants to talk about extraplanar nonsense, and whose player had other things going on

When we left off we had departed Celyn's home village on the way to visit the elven kingdom to the southeast.

( As always, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. )

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Here, have a recent events poem

2026-09-08T16:47:07Z

Wales

I never knew
How much it hurt
To carry
This body

Before the call
That told me
I couldn't put it down;

There was a mistake
In the scheduling.

The crushing weight
Of bereavement
Is the closest
I have ever been
To death.

And yet
A clerical error
Can be fixed

Where malice
Cannot.

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Perseids

2026-08-14T05:36:50Z

Stop a moment.

Breathe.

Go lie in a field by the school, with your knees blocking the streetlights. Or, better, find the gravel of a parking lot down in the municipal land back by the state forest, where the lights are further away and the sky actually manages to go black rather than grey.

Or something like that. Whatever works. Those are my answers.

Look up.

There is the W of Cassiopeia, riding right over the radiant. Straight up, Deneb rides the kite of Cygnus and holds the base of the Summer Triangle. Over there, the Great Square of Pegasus. That mysterious triangle on the horizon is the tail of the Great Bear, the bowl of the Dipper washed out in haze.

Let your eyes go soft, and watch the sky.

The flash does not come when wished for. They come, as they like, darting across the sky and gone before you can do anything other than yell, and if nobody else happened to see it there is no way to know it was real.

But there, a bright flash burns and is gone.

A tiny flicker traces up the right side of the W.

Something blinks, but not the way an airplane blinks.

Tiny streaks cross the belly of the swan.

Nobody can demand the sky give up its wonders. It will by chance, or not, and all that can be done to make the gift happen is to wait, to let your face become soft, your gaze expand to see as much of the arch of the Mother as will reveal herself to you. She will not be hurried.

Remember what it is like to not hurry.

And there! The light burns—

—from you all things emerge—

And is gone—

—unto you all things return.

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Let's get literary

2026-08-07T22:48:45Z

Twenty-Two

They want the thrill,
The permission,
Of pretending
To be afraid—

So they say "Man,"
For the joy of their
Rational
Battle.

But only until
A voice asks
For peace
Or sanity.

And then?

They listen
Like they're hearing
A woman.

That's the catch.
You can't ask
The plane
To stop bombing.

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[ gaming ] The existential question of what to do when there isn't a crisis

2026-08-03T00:04:30Z

A quiet session mostly setting up a bit of an interstitial period in game.

When we left off we had just had an audience with Ethlenn, the Archfey protector of Tyrwingha.

( The session was about half player logistics, but noting down things that happened. )

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I have some feelings today.

2026-08-02T02:50:17Z

Lavender

I don't know
What you found to love
In the place
That hurt me

But I hope
When you can
Cleave
To it

That it welcomes you in
And brings you
Every blessing
You have
Been
Cheated
Of

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A poem about visiting my aunt

2026-07-21T22:39:56Z

T-Shirt

"Is that Polish art?"
she asked
(knowing my grandmother)

and I can see what she did:
the echoes of Slavic flags

in the wingspan
of the abstracted
bird
framed in pink
and baby blue
flames

"No," I said,
"I just liked
the design."

The phoenix is
What it is.

And so am I.

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Slick, 4 April 2016-13 June 2026

2026-06-13T18:13:26Z

Slick, aka Facecat, aka Licky Slicky, aka Editorial Assistant Cat, aka My Obnoxious Freaky Boy, aka The Creature, collapsed suddenly yesterday afternoon with what appeared to be catastrophic asthmatic pneumonia. (He has had the not-uncommon chronic feline sniffle for some time.) He was a good boy and came to his humans when he noticed things were badly wrong, and we got him to the hospital, but he declined abruptly around 3am. I got the kids up so we could troop over to the hospital to say goodbye. The younger two remained in the ICU while we eased the inevitable.

Slick is survived by his full sister Lilybelle and his adopted brother and sparring partner, Robin, as well as his shellshocked human family.

He was a good boy. Every time I talked to the vets, they said what a good boy he was. He loved getting up in my business and poking me in the face. He didn't know how to sit on laps so he would stand on people and rearrange frequently. Sometimes he would sort of crouch on my lap so that he could lick my fingers while I was typing and try to chew on my knuckles. He got on top of all kinds of furniture. When we were away for a week the catsitter called partway through in a panic saying he hadn't been seen, and we found him chilling on top of some shelving in the basement storage all "What? You know I don't like strangers." He had finally started chilling out and letting people who don't live here see and even pet him. He loved halves of plastic Easter eggs and would sing about them and play cat hockey with him. He was the best cat at understanding English. I could tell him "Timmy is not in the well" and he would stop yelling at me. He sounded, as KJ would say, like a squeaky door hinge. He used to spend a lot of time in the basement ceiling, and it's possible that old insulation up there is why he was asthmatic. The other cats would beg for protein scraps when people were making dinner (well, Robin begged; Lil would steal whatever Robin got) but his response to such things was, "What do you think I am, an animal?" Sometimes he did an adequate job of pretending to have a dignity, even though it was a lie. His belly was not a trap; he denied all existence of bellies. He had a white Superman-shield shaped shirtfront and two white stripes on his front right toe.

He was a good boy.

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This is genuinely seriously fucking with my voice lessons?

2026-06-01T16:06:03Z

Countenance

I would say
This world
Is not crushing me
Yet

Except—

Every muscle
In my face
Is knots,
Like I live
In a wince
From the searing
Light
Of scrutiny.

And the pain
And the pull
Is wrecking
The sweetness
Of my voice.

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[ gaming ] Wondering the Grey Mists

2026-06-01T02:04:05Z

Dramatis Personae:

Celyn, who is perhaps unfortunately in his element (chaos and fairy nonsense)
Robin, who wants to go home
with Greymalkin, who wants his wings back
Izgil, who wants to know things
Viepuck, who was falling back on faking it and improv

When we left the party we were deciding what to do after demolishing a redcap fortress.

( There were a lot of trophies in the trophy room, many of them grisly. )

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[ gaming ] I know adventuring parties who use subtlety and they're all cowards.

2026-04-12T22:12:45Z

Meme reference for the title.

Dramatis Personae:

Izgil, doing bomber runs
Viepuck, more of a sniper really
Celyn, combat medic
Robin, heavy cavalry

When we left off we were travelling to the fortress of the person who took, among other things of less importance to the party, Greymalkin's wings as a trophy.

( And so we headed off with our half a goat. )

Combat sessions continue pretty fast to summarize.

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TDOV

2026-03-31T23:10:27Z

Visible

To learn young
That
To be seen
Is
To be hurt

To discover
That
To be seen
Wrong
Bleeds tears

To wish
That
To be seen
Were
Even real

To know
That
To be seen
Is
Never simple

To wonder
If
Being seen
Will
Work out
This time.

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I got nothing but poetry

2026-03-23T21:36:30Z

I think this is a sign that my ADHD meds are also antidepressants?

Earth

none of us are built
to be this brave

the epics told the truth:
the inhuman weight
of necessary courage
makes monsters
of its warriors
(of its victims)

because

only monsters
can survive
valor

and not
lie beneath

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Really, really winning.

2026-03-21T22:54:35Z

PSA

Did you know
Mental health is worse
In the population
We're trying to kill?

It's why
They can't be allowed
To be
Like that.

It's for their own good,
You see.
These laws
Are protection.

Left to their own devices
They make bad choices,
Which lead to
Negative outcomes,
Like living.

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Depression is winning today

2026-03-21T18:30:20Z

Rat

The poem says
Hope is a sewer rat
Adapted
For survival

Despite the plague
And the filth
And the hate

And I
Got the t-shirt
The one with the rats
That says
"You will not
Exterminate
Us"

That they
Resurrected
For rats
Like me

But I am
Sick
Of gnawing
A way
Out

And so tired
Of the stench.

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Circling back to this guy...

2026-03-17T19:53:46Z

Watcher

They say angels
Are genderless
But he refused to come
Unarmed:

He tore an eye
From his feathered wing
And opened its color
To paint his lids

He had not been shaped
To have
A blade
So he made one.

His hands opened
With gifts:

These are your weapons,
Use them.
Become strong
And beautiful.

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This first sentence has existed for a long time in other things.

2026-03-12T17:27:37Z

Toys

Gender is like Lego
It hurts
When you step on it.

Some like kits
And assemble
Piece by piece
Just like they're supposed to

Many— most?
Might build theirs and
Then
Adapt

Rayguns on the pirate ship
Skeletons in the princess castle—
It needs a dungeon.

Gather your pieces while ye may.
Become.

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[ gaming ] Defeating the Gazebo before Teatime

2026-03-09T00:42:15Z

Dramatis Personae:

Viepuck, the eldritch tween (with his familiar the flying purple octopus Es*tiaslos)
Izgil, the respectable older gent who brings moon to the moonless
Celyn, whose sense of etiquette was more useful than his stabbing honestly
Robin, who is unspeakably exhausted about fairy bullshit
(and getting his own line)
Greymalkin, wingless gryphon with PTSD and an entirely reasonable resulti9ng attitude

When we left off we had just been asked to go close a portal to the Feywild in a way that meant it would not reopen.

( So we planned to go through the portal into the realm of the evil fey. )

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Back to religion

2026-03-04T06:35:29Z

Set

Miscellanea:

The polar stars
With fixed purpose;

Thunderbolt iron
To open the power
(Great of strength)
to speak;

Confusion;
Discord;
Overcoming that which would
Annihilate;

The sinister and redheaded;
The foreign.

And
Problematic
Men—
Angry drunks,
Queer,
And the ball-less.

Collected.

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Whoof.

2026-02-26T18:34:57Z

Files

( I'm cutting this because maybe you don't want to see Epstein files-related poetry. )

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Been a minute

2026-02-12T03:43:23Z

Regalia

It used to be
People
Put on names
And a suit of clothes,
And were known.

The unknown god
Takes up his staff,
Puts on his beard,
His signs of power,
And when so garbed can say,
"And now you know me."

What raiment is mine,
What tools,
What adornments,
That will make me known?

I know not.

Footnotes on this one are: conversations about names on bsky, the lecture I went to tonight on queer/trans experience in the American colonies, a passage quoted in Daily Life of the Egyptian Gods, and graydon's comments about how gender is the means of signaling what sort of improv one is doing....

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Welp.

2026-02-03T05:54:21Z

Not my best way to start a year, honestly, this state of mind.

ETA ... okay random shuffle is being perfect in a lolsob way.

Time is like a bullet from behind
I run for cover just like you
Time is like a liquid in my hands
I swim for dry land just like you

Time is like a blanket on my face
I try to be here just like you
Time is just a fiction of our minds
I will survive and so will you

We are the only ones right now that are celebrating
And we are joining hands right now
We are the only ones right now that are suffocating
We are the dying ones right now

As the water grinds the stone
We rise and fall
As our ashes turn to dust
We shine like stars

Here's the whole thing, and welp.

Official video.

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[ gaming ] Monty Python's Flying Royalty

2026-02-02T03:33:07Z

Dramatis Personae, from the POV of the major NPCs:

Sir Robin, Lord of Asineau Village, with Greymalkin the wingless gryphon
Celyn Bettws, Lord's Consort in Asineau
Viepuck, squire and herald to Sir Robin, with Es*tiaslos the purple eldritch flying octopus
and
Izgil, the dwarf scholar who hangs out in Asineau

When we left off we had just killed a dragon.

( So we packed up our nonsense and returned to Asineau. )

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[ gaming ] The Best-Laid Plans of Kobolds and Men

2025-12-08T07:18:10Z

Dramatis Personae

Viepuck, quiet due to player absence
Izgil, unfortunately the only one who can see in the dark
Celyn, who did a lot of rogueing
Robin, prepared to do a great deal of dragon-thumping

When we concluded last session, we were about to be attacked by a dragon.

( So we set up for that. )

(Combat sessions are easy to summarize.)

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